It is as if you were making love
Physical intimacy is a thing of the past! Finally! But wait! Why do you feel so alone?! You want to touch someone?! Make them feel good?! But you don’t really want to actually have to touch someone?! You don’t really want to deal with another human?! Well you’re in luck! With this new application it is as if you were making love!
It is as if you were doing work
The robots are here! No more work! It’s great! Is it great?! Wait! You feel apathetic and unproductive! You miss clicking buttons! You miss waiting for progress bars! You miss checkboxes! You miss work! But it’s going to be okay! Use this handy application and it is as if you were doing work!