Journal

Starting point (2025-01-07)

Took some time to think about this by making notes in Things on my phone:

Points for duration
Popping bubbles as typing
Precision scrolling
Taps and double taps
Swiping left and right
Donā€™t fixate too much on it being realistic, just cycling through those ideas
Plus emotional instructions
Pauses/waits
Taps in other places on the screen
Game like interactions? Angry birds, fruit ninja, etc? Associated emotions or just random? > I think random right? What is the general affect of a phone user? Take notes. Occasional > smile but mostly dead looking or serious or furrowed?
Is there a game over?
Are there leaderboards?
Can you quit?
Keep it fucking simple?
Double tap bubble style
Some kind of minimalist abstract language of input

Made a p5 template project which is where we are now. Iā€™ll start with that assumption and go from there.

Question: what to do about desktop? Have ā€œit is as if you were on your computerā€ too which the same stuff but some different interactions? Yes makes sense. But separate projects I suppose. One after the other. Phone first because itā€™s funnier. Computer one is the opposite of Boss Mode which is fun.

Getting it together (2025-01-07)

While I have a couple of moments let me think some more about the interactions/structure here. I will do a few sketches tomorrow to figure out some of the shape as well.

Structure

Interactions

I probably need to sit with my phone for a bit to truly taxonomize this, and also observe other people, but as a starting point (which if weā€™re being honest is probably going to end up being good enough as phones arenā€™t that complex and Iā€™m not really trying to precisely reproduce recognizable apps or anything)

Are those the main ones?

Sequencing

And then thereā€™s the question of sequencing. I donā€™t like the idea of simulating a specific app experience, but I think itā€™s true that there are kind of higher level organizatinos that are worth preserving right? Like swipe down then double tap, swipe down then double tap (Instagram where youā€™re liking pictures), or swipe right, scroll down, swipe left, etcā€¦ (and note that these could potentially be paired with emotion/face notesā€¦ but it may be best not toā€¦ I can feel this very real tension around whether Iā€™m implying a narrative/real use or not - note that this seems key to me and that as of right now my heart/mind lies with the idea of NOT trying to do any simulation)

What are some of the larger organizational units we might think about (more and more this is seeming like I need some sort of small field study - if only of myself - of using apps and seeing what the behaviour is over time?)

Who are you trying to fool?

In amongst all this, a key question: WHO is meant to be fooled? Not the player, theyā€™re meant to look like theyā€™re on their phone which means mostly just a cursory glance from someone on the metro. But COULD mean theyā€™re at home or at a party looking busy which might get more scrutiny. But still, itā€™s not like you ever look at anyone and think you know what theyā€™re doing? Maybe matching swipes. Or games.

This is where the sort of metanarrative of the game comes in I guess. Much as in the previous twoā€¦ the idea that itā€™s a tool with a purpose. In this case my working theory (which I really like) is that itā€™s a tool both to look like youā€™re on your phone (and so a NORMAL PERSON) but also to NOT be on your phone and thus not subject to the abject terrors and punishments of social media and the news and so onā€¦ but then of course to ACTUALLY STILL BE ON YOUR PHONE in terms of shutting out the world, hunching, wasting timeā€¦ but then maybe arguably to ACTUALLY BE MEDITATING??? Ha haā€¦ haaaa? What ifā€¦

The game-iness

A part of all this is that we have a game layer. You score points for

And I suppose thatā€™s all. And thatā€™s plenty. Could be really juicy, could be restrained. Unclear for right now. Kind of funny the juicier it is, but the juicier it is the less I can buy into the meditation storyā€¦ which I do actually quite enjoy?

Emotional guide; face notes

Thereā€™s the component of this that refers back to It is as if you were playing chess, which is guidance on how to compose yourself physically, and most obviously facially (though because I just wrote ā€œphysicallyā€ Iā€™m realizing that postural changes work pretty well here too). I donā€™t think these need to be connected to the interactions - you can smirk, frown, raise an eyebrow, be dead-faced (the most common note, haha) to anything any content any interaction. But this is an important bit for the ā€œurban camouflageā€ idea involved in this.

God, this is actually pretty good? Iā€™m talking myself into this pretty hard right now. Ah, young love.

Early sketching (2025-01-08)

The resolution on this image sucks, but itā€™s still legible I think. Or not? Maybe click to view? Struggling with just how terrible it isā€¦

Next step is some prototyping, indeed.

First prototype; Feedback; Suite talking; and beyond (2025-01-10)

Early days still but did produce a simple prototype of randomized circle-tapping yesterday (which would be the build associated with this journalā€™s commit). I was happier than expected with the visual presentation on my phone, though need to discourage/rule out landscape because it just doesnā€™t work and isnā€™t part of the way you generally think of/see people doing stuff on their phones. But yeah the opening salvo worked pretty well. The commit included a couple of things to think about:

(44c547a)

Feedback

Thatā€™s all mostly technical stuff but itā€™s true especially I need some kind of philosophical position especially on the feedback element (juice or not juice?). There clearly needs to be feedback but my inclination as of right now is to lean into the kind of ā€œZenā€ conceit involved here and to make the sounds simple chimes or other zenny sounds (gongs?). Some way of continuing the emotional tone of calm, sort of trying to catch onto the seeming calm of this kind of phone use, but making it actually calm, but making it still engaging? So prototyping some sound formats makes sense, starting with Zenning. The other more obvious would be like a ā€œpopā€ and the satisfaction around that, but I think that may lead to a more brainless experience?

Some simple animation for the circles appearing and disappearing makes sense too - maybe a combo fade+size in, and then just a size-out? Will try something today as I want to prototype a bit.

Then thereā€™s the expressions thingā€¦ how to communicate body posture, emotion, thoughts, faces. Where to put it. I can just copy the chess game but worth revisting. Spoke with Rilla this morning around using emoticons (as in ASCII emoji) as a way to suggest things, but I think I probably still prefer the austerity of texts for this elementā€¦ thereā€™s this balancing act/trick around trying to hit the engagement/dissociation/peace target. Which I like as a core challenge for this one actually. And for the whole potential suite.

Suite talking?

One of the things that has been rising in my mind through thinking about it, talkng to Femke (about matching apps), and talking to Csongor via the growing stuff repo, is this sense of a larger and more specialized suite of apps based on this core concept. It is as if you were on your phone is the generalized idea, but itā€™s clear that an interesting and worthwile thing to make would be replacement apps for all the classics (WhatsApp, Messages, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, etc.). Each one is a minimalist set of interactions that replicate what it looks like to be on those apps, but subtracts the content. And you could have all of them to create this phone environment thatā€™s purely about the (soothing?) motions of social media etc., but is really about calm and inner peace because you get the advantages of the Wall of your phone (nobody should bother you, youā€™re entitled to this space) without the anxieties/pressures of the actual content.

Making this a much bigger project is pretty interesting. I think it still makes sense to start with the general case, though, and then perhaps to expand from there. Because I suspect the larger/broken down Suite would have to be a little more professional, maybe even on the App store instead of ā€œjustā€ a website. Though maybe the website works for sheer accessibility as the browser really isnā€™t bad in terms of the screen real estate available and you could make a little fake home screen and so on for it.

Anyway, I think this is the right starting approach for right now.

And beyond

Rilla asked the question ā€œwhen are you going to make It is as if you were being a person?ā€ and thatā€™s genuinely pretty inspiring. I can imagine an album or a podcast (which? podcast is funnier) which has tracks/episodes that are literally vocal instructions for ā€œhow to beā€ in a specific context. Could consult with Jorge and JadĆ© about language, pacing, etc. Maybe make background music in the PO or something fun, and just put them out there. Like 20 minute tracks (akin to meditations) where you donā€™t have to deal with the pressure of figuring out how to be normal/unobtrusive.

Plays into neurodiversity stuff in pretty obvious ways, but I also think it can play strangely into entry points to meditation, freedom from ourselves. Could also imagine a novel where all these things exist, but letā€™s not go there please. PLEASE.

So thatā€™s something else to consider building up some experitise and scripts for, but itā€™s a totally separate project, but might be fun to think about an episode/track for A MAZE. A general purpose track would be really funny too. Just ā€œaround the houseā€ would be funny. Thereā€™s a sort of bizarre ā€œlife coachingā€ angle in it too. Itā€™s definitely funny.

To p5 or not to p5? Thumb radius? The real thing? Zen? (2025-01-13)

To p5 or not to p5?

The most boring thing first. In running tests it seems like at least in the ways Iā€™ve been able to investigate, p5 is giving me a pretty massive lag on touch events, enough that it feels bad. I canā€™t seem to find a way to make this not happen - mostly it seems like any touch fires two events, and the second one is actually the one that takes effect and is delayed enough that it feels laggy. It would be great if I could figure this out as Iā€™m pretty comfortable in p5, but if I canā€™t?

I played around a teeny bit with PixiJS to write this little thing

// Create our application instance
(async () => {
    const app = new PIXI.Application();
    await app.init({
        width: window.innerWidth,
        height: window.innerHeight,
        backgroundColor: 0x2c3e50,
        antialias: true
    })
    document.body.appendChild(app.canvas);

   const gr  = new PIXI.Graphics()
    .circle(200, 200, 30)
    .fill(0xffffff)
    .on("pointerdown", (event) => {
        app.stage.removeChild(gr);
    });

    gr.eventMode = "static";
    
    app.stage.addChild(gr)
   
})();

I ran this in their sandbox and learned a few basic Pixi things to get a circle you can tap and it goes away. It goes away instantly. However, itā€™s also true that I can get ā€œinstantā€ performance in p5 so long as thereā€™s no conditional checking if the circle is clickedā€¦ which obviously I need, butā€¦ why the fuck would a very minimal if-statement cause a substantial delay in processing exactly?

Well okay while I was writing that and becoming so incredulous that this kind of problem could conceivably exist I dug further into the double-event problem and wrote code to ignore the ā€œmousedownā€ event thatā€™s triggered (LATE) on a touch, listening only to the ā€œtouchstartā€. That turns out to work it seems - I get a responsive feel for the taps (though I need to test directly on my phone).

So for now I suppose I wonā€™t abandon p5 just to keep prototyping in a world that I know, but there are probably a bunch of other questions that are going to arrive around potential physics and feel that I dunno if I can solve. Swipes are a huge one (though I can use the swiping library I think to address some of this stuff? Hammer was it? Something else? Swipe.js?). Still really unclear on how to handle specifically the ā€œswipe rightā€ kind of feeling most of all in terms of symbolsā€¦ could I have literally an arrow that saysā€¦ swipe right? swipe left? scroll down? scroll up? stop? etcā€¦ more directed, less zen? Maybe thatā€™s the thing that gets me to a less zen place which I think might have been a distraction? (Though I quite like the zen version of this? As opposed to the ā€œfitting in as a humanā€ versionā€¦ hmm itā€™s still unclearā€¦)

Maybe you could even incorporate the instruction iself into the text about what you do with your face? ā€œSwipe right and winceā€?

Thumb radius?

Exciting I know but as I was interacting with the early prototype on the metro I found that the circles were spawning too high sometimes for me to reach them with solo thumb, which I think itā€™s a pretty default design issue that you are not supposed to have in all these apps? So I should probably think about a spawn zone thatā€™s lowed down to deal with that so that this thing can be successfully one handed.

And thinking of that made me think of

The real thing?

What if I approve the design of this game in terms of ā€œsecretlyā€ switching between modes which reflect the interaction patterns of different apps, e.g. a TikTok mode, a YouTube mode, an Instagram mode, a Messages mode, a reading the news/website mode? That would help sustain more ā€œsensibleā€ patterns. I wouldnā€™t even need to tell the user this is happening up top, and it would then feed more or less directly into work on the App Suite version of this project, for which this thing is in some ways a prototype/general case?

That would allow me to tackle the whole thing mode by mode rather than as a whole mega thing.

So thatā€™s the next kind of plan; break it into modes, have the modes switch at random points of time, but donā€™t tell the user so they donā€™t need to worry as much about being ā€œin characterā€ for the mode. This is sort of the ā€œleast stressfulā€ version?

Zen?

I need to think more about the Zen thing. Versus ā€œjustā€ the social camouflage thing.

Swipe prototyping; visual prototyping; the main thing (2025-01-16)

Swipe prototyping

I did get a basic swiping thing going with a visual indicator today. Just a little pip that runs along inside a bar based on swipe velocity. Itā€™s not much, but itā€™s felt helpful to have something a bit more clearly responsive and it felt like it got a bit at the question of what kind of visual representation to haveā€¦ which in turn led to doing some visual prototyping because Iā€™m still not really sold on the approachā€¦

Visual prototyping

Visual designs for swiping in the game

Visual designs for typing in the game

Visual designs for scrolling in the game

The main thing

In putting together the above visual prototypes (which I did not labour over, but which were helpful as a way to break free from the code) I kept running up against the classic stupid question: what is this thing about. As with any portion of the project, itā€™s really hard to make serious decisions about anything without having the underlying principles in place.

There are a few competing ideas going on here, not all necessarily on the same axesā€¦

Iā€™ve thought about the Social Camouflage thing as primary - helping people fit in while avoiding social media exhaustion- What about passive experiences of a cellphone? When people are watching YouTube, theyā€™re just watching YouTube; do we have a ā€œWatch this rectangleā€ activity? I mean, thatā€™s very funny, but goes against the idea you can ā€œloseā€ I had earlier. Or does the timer not expire for watching the rectangle? Watch this progress bar, with no timer for losing.

In writing this out I think a more abstract understanding is better. So no need in this version to think hard about what the interaction sequences (and specific screen locations) are for, say, TikTok.

Iā€™m concerned by the tension between relief/social camouflage and the gamified version where it seems like it would be very stressful. Why would you play this as a game specifically? Thereā€™s some way in which that ends up feeling too close to the real experience? Am I just concerned that without some gamified element people wonā€™t see the point in interacting longer term? But if itā€™s an application, then itā€™s not really intended to be played in that way - itā€™s a tool not a game?

This is making me think we kill the game-y elements.

So weā€™d be landing on something like:

Nexts (2025-01-23)

Iā€™ve done more prototyping at this point such that weā€™ve got passably okay version of generally tapping locations, swiping left or right, keyboard input.

The big interactions missing are double tap (maybe I seek to solve that today in the abstract) and scrolling (which introduces the fear of working with swipes and pans somehow, but maybe itā€™ll be fiiiine)

Once I get some kind of version of those two things it would be time to think more structurally about how all this works in terms of a flow through the game, notably changing modes, how Iā€™m going to deal with the question of visual representations, how Iā€™m going to deal with colour (or not), how Iā€™m going to deal with sound, ā€¦

Uh quite a lot of stuff. My main feeling, though, is that the project is on a good trajectory that I can handle. And that it remains a pretty fun feeling idea.

Refactor? Visuals (2025-01-23)

Refactor?

As I started trying to ā€œeasilyā€ ā€œbreezilyā€ implement double taps it felt like the moment that everything would break apart (mostly my mind) in terms of the structures at play. It spiralled me out into thinking (fantasizing??) about OOP and inheritance and a beautiful clean cool implementation of All This. So I stopped what I was doing and turned to visuals as a way to do something a bit less dizzying.

But the point remains. At some stage I either need to move to a ā€œbetter frameworkā€ for this project (plain JS? Pixi? Phaser??) or I need to build some of that better framework myself. Neither option is super appealing in this exact moment, but the stage to do it is probably closer to now than to later.

Ugh. But also, kind of fun once you get into it? I feel like Iā€™m oscillating on it, but probably itā€™s ā€œeasyā€ (ahahahahaha) to work with p5 and OOP/inheritance. Plus Iā€™ve just kind of wanted to build something out entirely in p5 and I guess this could be it?

Visuals

Anyway I also did some more visual stuff to think about the front end of this thing.

More ideas about scrolling. The main preoccupations here are going to be:

Doublt tapping seem relatively fine. If weā€™re going symbols then I think the double circle makes plenty of sense in terms of a target and a simple indication of whether the double is complete.

New on the scene, and plausible with the current plan to remove the ā€œgameā€ stuff around scoring and passivity. The idea that one of your tasks is just to look at something for a set amount of time. (Note that this isnā€™t actually incompatible with points now that I think about it, if we explicitly introduce the timer for how long to be passive for.)

The question of what the instructions should look like. Pretty trivial tbh but I thought I should do it. Probably a black background lends them more credibility. What about a white box outline? Probably too confusing if we have a ā€œwatch this squareā€ setup somewhere in there. Putting them at the top, where weā€™re less likely to have interactions (because of thumb radius) seems smart.

And then two kind of vomit-inducing colour palettes. I donā€™t like either of them but I thought I should at least gesture toward it. The muted greyscale that references/is from the Chess edition makes sense to me. Abstraction, not fun, not unfun, just there. Dark mode/light mode? Perhaps yes.

I OOPed in the code pool; I wanna be an FSM (2025-01-28)

I OOPed in the code pool

Wow, Pippin. Just wow.

Well I did convert the ā€œcode baseā€ to OOP over the last couple of sessions and it was predictably pretty satisfying.

The unsurprising result is that it makes the project feel kind of manageable in a way it wasnā€™t feeling before when I was kludging away at the functions level. It no longer seems like Iā€™ll go further and further insane as I try to add additional ideas into the code because the place to intervene is much clearer and I can rely on inheritance to keep things (relatively) calm.

I wanna be an FSM

The more surprising result, which I mentioned in commit 4d55b31 is that it feels much more like thereā€™s an alignment between implementation and the spirit of the project. Some of that is probably ultra ultra inside baseball in the sense that itā€™s just something I care aboutā€¦ the idea that the code reflects the result in some fun way, whether metaphorical or literal or whateveral.

But I think there could be more to it. The code is now broken down mostly into

With the idea that a State is just a particular kind of sequencing (statistical? more calculated than that? a pattern? a grammer? Tracery?) of a specific set of interactions. A finite state machine OR WHATEVER. Amirite? But probably I am right and that is it and I should actually look at FSM implementation ideas.

But the appealing thing here is the connections I think get drawn between (letā€™s say Iā€™m right and itā€™s) FSMs and the human desire to know what to do. It kind of explicitly is an answer to the very human cry ā€œI want to be a Finite State Machineā€? Input to output baby.

So Iā€™m saying that in switching programming paradigms Iā€™m finding a better way of thinking about/expressing a part of what this whole thing is about, which is the desire we maybe have (sometimes?) to be more like computers doing computer things in computer ways. (And perhaps to some extent a ton of videogames are exactly that in a more obfuscated way?). Anyway, Iā€™d like to pursue this further as I go, but hereā€™s at least a marker of something found.

Reimplementing the wheel?; Structures; A pause explodes my brain (2025-01-30)

Reimplementing the wheel?

Yesterday I spent time making the scrolling interaction more like what I think of when I do it on my phone, which is crucially that I will semi often flick scroll (swipe into a scroll) and then catch the page to stop it (a press). I felt like that scrolling behaviour needed to be in there, so I made the effort to do so. And as part of all that introduced the pan/drag based scrolling as well.

So Iā€™ve ended up with a kind of complete representation of scrolling at this point. Including different ā€œlengthā€ scrollbars (visually the same but different relative scrolling speed - needs work). All of which does for sure have me wondering if Iā€™m just reimplementing stuff that already exists if I just used some framework?

In a way, too, I think my intuitions here are related to the sense that you could implement a lot of (all of?) the features I have so far by literally havingā€¦ you guessed it, a scrollable HTML element. That you wouldā€¦ scrollā€¦ in the way that things scrollā€¦ on mobileā€¦ i.e. get all the behaviours for ā€œfreeā€.

Why not do that? I donā€™t have an incredible argument, but I feel cautious that approaching this as a sort of ā€œweirdly implemented webpageā€ might lead to gaps in my ability to control how things look and flow into each otherā€¦ that it might turn out to be secretly awkward to do well (god knows the way Iā€™m doing it may too of course). I think thereā€™s maybe some philosophy involved in this too; like if I had a truly scrolling element then itā€™s somehow against the principle that the player only performs the ā€œactā€ and doesnā€™t actually get the result. But I donā€™t know if that truly holds up or not, given I have a UI element that shows scrolling and, for all intents and purposes, is scrolling? So I dunno. I dunno.

Anyway, for now the point is to use p5 to make a project and Iā€™m happy to use the canvas and have a sort of app-y feel to the whole thing, rather than tangle with HTML which, letā€™s face it, is a nightmare much of the timeā€¦ positioning and all that.. ughhhhhhhh. Just give me a rectangle baby.

Structures

Continuing with pretty meta stuff, I did some refactoring that meant that my Browsing state went from controlling stuff to just being a configuration object specifying the touch events (e.g. swipe, tap, pan) and interactions (e.g. scroll, tap) that the state should run through. Which felt really liberating in that moment - the vision of all the specific states/use-cases/activities as configuration of an underlying structure.

But does that have significant implications for how things unfold down the line? Does it design/engineer me into a corner? Or a channel? Or whatever? Does it close off design space at the code level?

There are various things where Iā€™d want flexibility per activity, but as Iā€™m writing this I feel like itā€™s mostly data driven at that point? That any activity is just a sequence of interactions fundamentally? So maybe itā€™s fine? I DONā€™T KNOW.

A pause explodes my brain

The other very tiny thing I did today was add a pause between interactions. So you finish a scroll. It disappears. Thereā€™s a beat. Then the next thing shows up - another scroll or a tap depending RNG. That was fundamentally just a needed thing and I implemented the dumbest version (a delay with a small random variance in timing) just to have it there because it felt badly off without it.

But in doing so it felt like it highlighted/invited other elements I now need to address.

Acknowledgement

The interaction seemed to want some kind of UI acknowledgement of task completion, I guess in a way that previews and justifies the element disappearing. So maybe the element turns green, or flashes, or whatever smiles at you. Maybe thereā€™s a sound. Maybe a check-mark shows up. The specifics of this depend a bit on the personality of the overall project actually. Thereā€™s a big difference between ā€œturns greenā€ and ā€œClippy shows up and congratulates youā€ for instance. So itā€™s a thinker.

Does this look right?

And then of course thereā€™s the question of how long these delays should be. Because those delays are in part about staging out the userā€™s interactions. You donā€™t want them just scrolling non stop every 500 milliseconds because that wouldnā€™t ā€œlook rightā€ right?

(Although I think thereā€™s a big question floating around that I havenā€™t tackled which is the question of HOW RIGHT this should look - is someone glancing your way? Are they studying you to make sure youā€™re REALLY ON YOUR PHONE? Or is the metric that the player should feel like they are REALLY ON THEIR PHONE? That they can imagine some kind of task flow where they would be doing what they are doing?)

Acts, actions, and interactions

And ALSO in adding the pause I found myself wondering about the place in the flow of all this of the ā€œactingā€ (the instructions for facial expressions and other stuff, breathing patterns). I wondered in the commit whether there was a case to be made for having those Acts be part of the larger flow, so not on screen at the same time as the interaction but rather as an action of their own.

There are ways that makes a kind of very soothing sense to meā€¦ a flow of actual interactions and more emotional/psychological/postural actions. Thereā€™s a part of me that things that having actions and interactions on screen at the same time would be a kind of cognitive overload risk when Iā€™m trying to keep it as simple and robotic as possible.

The counterargument to that is that there might be a case for performing an interaction WITH a specific affect, and if theyā€™re sequential I donā€™t see how that would work. Something like ā€œperform the next interaction with an exasperated faceā€? Ohā€¦ actually I really kind of like that. ā€œReact to the previous interaction with disbeliefā€? Hmmmā€¦ that versus ā€œPerform this interaction with an exasperated faceā€ ā€¦

Hmm Iā€™m convincing myself of the serial flow. I will at the very least try it out next time.

Dating; acting; testing (2025-02-10)

Well I ā€œmissedā€ a week of development there because I was preparing a talk I gave on Thursday at the ARTSLab at the University of New Mexico for the Gale Memorial Lecture Series. Fancy me. I did talk about, or at least mention, this game so there was a teeny tiny sense in which I did stuff. The idea of this game got some good laughs and some interest from one audience member about helping people with addiction to phones etc. which was kind of interesting - I told them about the zen gongs version and how that had made me think about it as a potential meditation aid. But thatā€™s ended up feeling more like a ā€œforkā€ of the overall project. But funny to think about forking it.

Dating

Iā€™ve already marvelled about it in the commit messages today, but it was really pleasing to implement a Dating activity with a minimum of confusion and difficulty thanks to the framework Iā€™d set up for the Browsing activity. I was able to just add a set of classes that represented the approapriate swipes and then it kind of just worked without too much difficulty - it was working within say 20 minutes of starting in on it I think.

As of now the Dating activity is ā€œjustā€ swiping left or right or up with different weightings. So itā€™s mostly left (no match, 20 of them in the array), a bit of right (match, 3 in the array) and a tiny bit up (super match, 1 in the array). That is a breakdown of 83%/12.5%/4.5%. Probably too weighted on a superlike.

This has done the usual thing of opening up questions, particularly around:

Acting

I added acting back in. Itā€™s currently serial, and itā€™s currently that you have some probability of getting an Act versus an Interaction. It works in the sense that it shows up and so on, but I need to start taking a closer look at how it feels, building toā€¦

Testing

How do I test this thing? Most obviously I just test it on my own for as long as Iā€™m able to identify things that arenā€™t satisfying, but at some point I probably need to show it to someone else.

Thereā€™s the question of framing too, which may come out of any testing I do.

Let me pick up my phone now and do some ā€œdatingā€ā€¦

ā€¦

It feltā€¦ pretty great at a base level? I continue to feel like the core project here makes sense. I donā€™t even totally know why, but just being told to take the actions associated with a more specific kind of real world activity and having them be recognized is in itself satisfying.

In doing it there are some questions/notes thoughā€¦

Hmmm, so thereā€™s some kind of challenging stuff in there.

šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø

What would it take for this game to be done? (2025-02-14)

Not that itā€™s ā€œtaking too longā€ but it might be a good time to consolidate what the different arms of this are that require more work. Obviously itā€™s not ready now, but what does it need? In no particular orderā€¦

Pippin lies down on a sofa and holds his head in his hands.

ā€¦

As I lie here, I think that it might have been overstepping for this project to think so closely into activities. And you know, I was happy about it at the time, but I think I even made a note that this would be useful for later, rather than for this exact project? I think itā€™s more important for the ā€œon your phoneā€ project that itā€™s justā€¦ ā€œon your phoneā€ness rather than looking like youā€™re doing something specific. That thereā€™s maybe even a value to it being kind of inscrutibly just ā€œon your phoneā€ and not ā€œoh heā€™s on tiktok, oh heā€™s on instagramā€. To which end youā€™d actually just want a totally randomized set of actions you go through, and some kind of pretty generic Acts that you act out at the same time that match up with someone who is just ā€œon their phoneā€ā€¦

I think I buy that? I still want to make the Suit version where itā€™s all a more specific exploration of specific interaction sets, but I donā€™t think I want to confused them right now.

So if I revisit what needs doing itā€™s more like:

More visual design (2025-02-14)

Spent a bit of time in response to the issues identified doing some more visual prodding to see where I could get to and I think I like the direction. The tutorial thing is reassuring - can make it disappear, but initially having the language to set the behaviour is helpful I think.

Mockups of the game's potential interactions, swipe, pan and "look in this box"

Mocksup of the game's potential interactions, type, tap, and look here

And then thereā€™s the idea of how to position any other UI elements, like a Zen Mode toggle and an info button?

Mockups of UI arrangements for accessing zen mode and information or a menu

Leading to the idea of just dealing with that on a title page to keep the play screen relative clean?

Mockups of title screen

As I do all this, that red arrow in the mockups is making me want a splash of colour in amongst it. Maybe the interaction areas/items could be pink or something?

Anyway, it was pretty soothing to do this because I feel like Iā€™m creeping back to something simpler and less directly connected to actual UI. More abstraction, not less.

Progress; Zen (2025-02-20)

Progress

Hwellā€¦ I implemented those mockups pretty literally over the last few days and the game has kind of jumped from feeling a bit off to pretty much feeling like what I wanted? It suddenly feels close to done ā€“ though naturally that doesnā€™t mean it is close to done.

Crucially I think it seems to work. Iā€™ve had Jim look at it for the ā€œdoes it make any senseā€ angle and he got it. As mentioned in a commit somewhere, Iā€™ve had Felix play it and got the excellent feedback that he didnā€™t want to stop, helping to emphasize the instinct that thereā€™s just a bizarre moreishness to these sorts of basic interactions (which Iā€™m hoping will also play into the Zen mode when I get to it). I also showed it to a couple of other people from the perspective of observing and they confirmed that yes, I looked like I was on my phone, haha.

There are still plenty of things to tidy up around the language, some tweaks to layouts and more. And then thereā€™s Zen mode, a menu, and such. But yeah itā€™s reached that point where it feels inevitable that Iā€™ll release it as a real thingamie.

Zen

The next big question for the game is how to create the Zen mode. This is more of a design brainstormy moment but the point is to use the same structure of the game (like, exactly the same) but to have to it communicate and ideally be a meditative experience. So:

So those are I think the main concerns. None of them are actually all that high challenge, just a thing to do. I guess I try out the different potential textual approaches specifically.

I havenā€™t written a Why for this project. Let me do that.

High praise; explainers; bye zen (2025-02-26)

Been a few days since journaling - that seems to be the pattern with this one. Often with projects Iā€™ll journal every day, but this one I think is probably sufficiently clear in my mind itā€™s less needed. Although Iā€™ve definitely been wobbling through confusion as well.

High praise

I mentioned above that the game generally makes sense to people. That continues, which is encouraging. Most notably last night (I think?) Felix and I were FaceTime-ing with Jim and Mary in New Zealand and a message notification came up on my phone (which we were using). Felix instinctively swiped it away and we looked at each other for a beat. Then a couple of moments later he said something along the lines of ā€œdo you remember that ball and arrow game? that was funā€ - meaning this game, It is as if you were on your phone. Clearly this is great because having a six year old remember enjoying playing your abstract game about social camouflage and stripping back interactions into almost-nothingness isā€¦ very cool. Also I really liked the way it was linked to him interacting with the phone in a ā€œnormalā€ functional way, and remembering the game through that feeling. This general argument that thereā€™s something purely to the feeling of doing something is also important - itā€™s something Iā€™ve kind of played down as Iā€™ve worked on the game because Iā€™ve become more focused on the idea of camouflage/pretending, but the satisfaction around just doing a thing and seeing it work is not to be trifled with.

Explainers

Part of recent work was creating a menu and and info screen which I dropped some lorem ipsum into. I did that in no small part because when I tried to explain the game in a very small space I really, really struggled. And I think a huge part of that was that thereā€™s such a signficant difference in intent between the ā€œnormal modeā€ and the ā€œzen modeā€. It felt very odd and disjunction to be talking about them both on the same screen.

Soā€¦ā€¦.

Bye Zen

Iā€™ve passed the game over to David W for comment since he has spent a lot of time using a videogame in a meditative way (Playne). But my growing feeling is that the zen mode just doesnā€™t really work right now. Itā€™s too distinct from the main project, itā€™s not about pretending youā€™re on your phone and I think that if Iā€™m going to pursue it as an idea (using phone interactions as a form of meditation) I need to give it its own space to breathe and be its own thing.

This is also going on small bits of feedback where it seems like the zen part of things just isnā€™t all that clear. I can explain it (as to Jonathan at lunch yesterday) and thereā€™s a degree of sense (I think particularly in thinking about awareness of phone interactions as a form of focused attention, kind of sensual etc.) but itā€™s kind of awkward, and I donā€™t think itā€™s helping the shape of the bigger thing.

Soā€¦ bye zen!

Back problems (2025-02-27)

Wasnā€™t sure how to foreground this sort of ā€œnegative design momentā€ without a journal entry, but Iā€™ll be brief because itā€™s not that interesting. Spent some time this afternoon trying to think through how a back button would look on the play screen, because this thing is pretty ā€œappyā€ and so I figured it made sense as ā€œjust good UI designā€ to have a back button so you could get back to the menu and read the info screen or something.

However everything looked gross:

Prototypes of back button

As you can see. There just doesnā€™t seem to be a layout that would fit in a back button. It conflicts everywhere it goes and doesnā€™t contribute to the main goal. And I suppose even philosophically going ā€œbackā€ somewhat defeats theā€¦ well no, because you could make a version of this game where youā€™re literally navigating a working larger interface so thatā€™s not the thing but it justā€¦ doesnā€™t sit right and has nowhere to be. Canā€™t be at the bottom because thatā€™s for the ā€œkeyboardā€ when it shows up. No room for it up top in conjunction with the acting instructions, and then youā€™ve already struck out.

So I donā€™t have a back button, the end.

Acting math; dead face (2025-02-28)

Hwellll here we are at the end of February. Been working on this thing sinceā€¦ 7 january, so that would be roughly seven weeks? A little more. Considering Iā€™ve done other stuff in that time Iā€™m pretty alright with the timing - since I do think itā€™s basically done. Not that time matters right? Naaaaaaahh.

Acting math

Main thing on my mind at this point is about the pacing and especially the scripted acting stuff. As of right now itā€™s a pretty primitive system:

{act} {duration}

Where duration can secret be another action, so itā€™s a pretty hacky piece of bullshit.

e.g.

{Widen your eyes} {for a moment}

It occurs to me it could be refined by having a small set of possible structures (not the whole tracery hog but a very small nod to it):

{act}
{act} {duration}
{act} then {act}
{act} {duration} then {act}
{act} then {act} {duration}

Something like that gives more fleixibility, makes the things more atomic. I particularly donā€™t want it to feel repetitive, even though it will be by definition.

One could imagine breaking it down further in some cases, as with ā€œscratch your kneeā€ā€¦ well thereā€™s all kinds of things you could scratch, but just how procedural makes any sense for this?

I think I need to take another pass at it with this in mind and see if it helps.

Dead face

One thing that has occurred to me consistently when using my own phone or observing people in the wild, is that the vast majority of the time we are not making faces or moving around or anything, we just look kind of impassive.

So Iā€™ve wondered about a kind of baseline acting instruction which is just just maintain that deadface, and then to switch that less often to other things. ā€œLook at the screen impassivelyā€ over and over again by default. You could vary it, but thereā€™s probably a rhetorical point to just returning to the same baseline feeling?

That could then just be in the mathā€¦ you either get deadface with a fairly high priority, or you ā€¦ well maybe you alternate deadface and acting, but the deadface has a longer timing.

I think I should try to implement this and see how it feels.

Kind of done? (2025-03-03)

Itā€™s perhaps a bit sudden but I feel like Iā€™m kind of done with it? I could probably spend all week tweaking certain parts of this, but Iā€™m not too sure that thatā€™s really worth it. It feels like it has hit a point where it makes its point, has enough diversity to actually use for a good while, and is solid in terms of not crashing etc.

I should probably revisit the Why stuff and make sure Iā€™m still more or less aligned with the original vision for this (and I should write some kind of closing statement for the same reasons) but yeah I deel basically happy with this one and ready to send it out into the world (on Wednesday I guess? Do I bother to send it to any media? I mean I couldā€¦ hard to feel like anyone would give any shits?)

Iā€™ll make a press kit for now anyway. If nothing else, I find them useful.

The feeling of release; community; success (2025-03-09)

The release process

Released the game last Wednesday (I feel like thatā€™s often the day I go for somehow?) to not a lot of fanfare. I did drag myself through the process of sending it out to my dwindling set of emails I write to for this, posted it to Reddit, etc. Watched it get downvoted to 0 on Reddit, ah yes, thatā€™s familiar. Watched it go unnoticed on Hackernews, yep, seen that beforeā€¦

Somehow Pocket Gamer got hold of it (not sure how that works) and wrote quite an appealing ā€œhmm, this isnā€™t very entertaining but itā€™s weird and interestingā€ piece where I was listed as a ā€œbonafide underground video game celebā€ haha. But also not haha, thatā€™s genuinely niceā€¦ as a game making guy who has felt increasingly irrelevant (kind of coinciding with making games as a slower pace and the agonizing death of social media as a place to share) itā€™s pretty meaningful to feel like someone knows who I am and what Iā€™m up to in a big picture sense.

Iā€™d sent it to Jason Kottke as part of my short list of people to reach out to and he popped it on his site too which always makes me feel great because I think he reaches a group of people I really see as a key ā€œaudienceā€ for this stuff - not necessarily game-folk, but interested in tech-creativity folk.

And then a couple of days later - day before yesterday? Yeah, this timeline is so small - I remembered my idea of being on Bluesky and posted it there in my traditional ā€œhey I made a thingā€ way. And it was lovely to see a bunch of people check it out and offer bits of feedback (note to self: Iā€™d really like to capture all that stuff because itā€™s such an interesting part of the process - plus such a privilege to get ANY feedback on your work from ā€œthe wildā€).

Itā€™s broken

Anyway, a key point here: some of the feedback was around it being straight up broken for people on Android using Chrome. Whichā€¦ well I still donā€™t actually understand the reason, but I initially oscillated on caring because it just felt like thereā€™s not that much point in engaging deeply with maintenance, even this close to release. But my curiosity got the better of me and I remembered an old bug I kept seeing while building the game - if I ran it in emulation mode in Chrome then the drag interaction would always fail. And this was the error people were seeing, so I thought I could potentially track it down (looking for emulator solutions didnā€™t yield anything I thought would help me out).

So, while at home alone with a decent-sized headcold and a ridiculous sounding voice while Rilla and Felix were at Kalervoā€™s birthday party, I spent a bit of time thinking about the problem. And I decided it was probably hammer.js because that project simply isnā€™t maintained anymore and because the error was pretty clearly coming up on a touch interaction that works in other contexts. So, blame the touch library.

Somehow - very, very against type for me - I decided to just reimplement the entire touch interaction part of the project from the plain javascript events myself instead. Thereā€™s a happy story here becauseā€¦ it wasnā€™t that hard! Took like an hour? In part because of all the snoozefest engineering stuff I was writing about earlier on - the project is (fairly) well organized and modular (and just simple of course) and I was able to excise hammer quite fast.

Speaking of - one of the insights there I found interesting: in reimplementing swipes specifically I realized that I could afford really basic code because I wasnā€™t trying to test the playerā€™s ability to swipe a specific direction, so false positives or just too-generous positives were a non issue. Thus the swipe implementation is really, really basic. And it works! It wouldnā€™t be great for a real application, but in this situation a more forgiving version is appropriate because it doesnā€™t break the flow.

Anyway this change made it work well for some people, but I got a couple of comments about it being very laggy. I looked into that just earlier on today(???) wait 40 minutes ago??? Time, man. Anyway, I found somebody talking about lag in p5 on Chrome on Android and saying that pixel density can be an issue because the canvas can be rendered super large when it doesnā€™t really need to be - the solution being to force pixel density to 1. Made that change and then ā€“ community for the win ā€“ was able to ask one of the people to take a look at it to see if it made a difference, and it did!

So yeah thereā€™s a nice story there about a good side of social media for me; it gets at this sense of audience where you can kind of be ā€œwithā€ the audience for something and chat to them and have a conversation about it, rather than being an unknown game-producing-entity who is totally removed from the equation. In that way itā€™s related to all the stuff about conversation with materials and the sort of ā€œtriangleā€ of ā€œmaker-game-playerā€ā€¦ social media creates this thread thatā€™s directly maker-player but with ā€œgameā€ as the context. Iā€™m sure this has all been written about properly, but itā€™s a nice thing just to experience.

But wait, thereā€™s more

The above is what I had in mind when I sat down to write this entry - I mostly just wanted to follow up on the release and point out the Bluesky stuff more than anything; that sense of community I really genuinely miss about making games in the context of old Twitter. The sense of a conversation, of having ā€œaccessā€ to people who are inclined to be interested in what youā€™re doing, want you to share it with them, want to try it and talk to you about it, or simply to offer words (or likes) of support.

So that was a huge win for me in terms of putting a game out as I feel like lately itā€™s been a bit of a struggle to feel like thereā€™s much interest in what Iā€™m doing. (And of course now I do a little search to see if the previous game got any notice and it did - hilariously thereā€™s a post on slither.io which seems to be a site devoted to Snake games??? And they actually took a serious look at it, incredible.) Anyway I was feeling sad about it all and kind of resigned to just ā€œwell, I make things because I want to think about them while I make themā€ (which is true) and ā€œnobody will really give any shitsā€ (which is not as true, though it can be true because the internet if fickle as fuck).

And then while I was fact checking my note above about it being on Hackernews and sinking to the bottom of the ocean I searched for it so I could see if it ever got beyond the 1 point posts get by default andā€¦

I see someone else called bookofjoe also posted it and it made it up to 250 points! That was four hours ago so itā€™s actually sitting up really high on their site (second place after 5 hours is no joke) which is a nice shockā€¦ huh. And yeah in analytics there are apparently over 1000 people on my site looking at it at the moment soā€¦ cool. Over 4000 ā€œactive usersā€ on my site today. The internet is so weird.

Well, that said, I do think some of this is ā€œpredictableā€ in the sense that if you work on something that connects with internet/tech/game culture youā€™re more likely to catch the wind of interest from people. But I also think if you try to do that explicitly you most of the time wonā€™t get anything out of it because it feelsā€¦ pretty random to me. But itā€™s true that my ā€œbiggest gameā€ (Work) is of that nature too. I can imagine trying to fixate on how to have this kind of success again, but Iā€™ve never wanted to put in the effort. There are some clear elements that come into play, but intentionally reproducing this level of interest (and letā€™s be clear that by internet standards it remains tiny) is a foolā€™s errand in my opinion.

So, Iā€™m really please the phone game got some traction our there in the wilderness. A bunch of people have now thought along with me about how we use our phones, how it feels to think about using your phone while using it, etc.

Interesting to me, too, that there were numerous comments about the meditative qualities of the game the way it is now, which I think bodes well for a more targeted approach with the eventual meditation suite (I suppose Iā€™m now thinking specifically about it as a meditation suite, which I also really like as Iā€™m writing these wordsā€¦ different apps for different meditative approachesā€¦ mmmm, nice.)

Well so yeah. One of those release processes that surprise you by not just being ā€œwellā€¦ itā€™s out there now, the endā€.