Here are a lot of game ideas I used to post to Twitter back in 2015-2018.
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ DO A THING IN A LUSH
░ ░ ░ BEAUTIFUL WORLD
░ ░
░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ YOU GET OLD
░ ░ ░ AND YOU KEEP
░ ░ ░ ░ GETTING OLDER
░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ MILLIONS OF PEOPLE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ HAPPY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ TAKE ME SERIOUSLY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ AS AN ARTIST
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ YOU WIN SOME
░ ░ YOU LOSE SOME
░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ YOU CAN CUT THE ROPE
░ ░ ░ OR NOT CUT THE ROPE
░ ░ ░ ░ AT YOUR DISCRETION
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ WHO WILL YOU BE?
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ YOU
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ COMPLETE ME
░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ THE MECHANIC
░ ░ ░ IS LOVING THY NEIGHBOUR
░ ░ BUT YOU’RE
░ ALL ALONE
░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU’RE DOING
░ ALL THIS GREAT STUFF
░ BUT NOBODY SEEMS TO
░ APPRECIATE IT
░
░
░
░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ ░ YOU BURN MORE CALORIES
░ ░ THAT YOU CONSUME
░
░ ░ BUT INSTEAD OF LOSING WEIGHT
░ ░ YOU GRADUALLY LOSE YOUR PERSONALITY
░
░ ░ GAME IDEA ░ ░ YOU CAN’T STOP DANCING ░ ░ IT WAS FUN ░ ░ BUT NOW TEARS STREAM DOWN YOUR CHEEKS ░ ░ WHY WON’T ANYBODY HELP YOU? ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ABYSS STARING COMPETITION
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA ░
░ ░
░ YOU JUST CAN’T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT
░ AND YOU FEEL AWFUL
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ @TomNullpointer HAS AMNESIA
░ ░
░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU HAVE THIS IDEA
░ FOR THIS GAME YOU WANT TO DO
░ ░ BUT IT’S, LIKE,
░ ░ ░ SO HARD
░ ░ TO DO
░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU’RE DOING YOUR BEST
░ ░
░ ░ ░ AND THAT’S GOING TO HAVE TO BE
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GOOD ENOUGH
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ THEY TOOK EVERYTHING FROM YOU
░ ░ ░ ░ AND YOU COULD TAKE REVENGE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ BUT YOU FIND YOU ENJOY THE MINIMALIST LIFE
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU’RE THE RIGHTFUL KING
░ UNJUSTLY KEPT FROM THE THRONE
░ ░ BUT YOU JUST TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ WHERE IN THE WORLD
░ ░ ░ ░ IS EVER GOING TO BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU BUY ALL THE PRODUCTS
░ ░ AND ARE, AT LAST
░ HAPPY
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU HAVE TO SING
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ KNOCKIN’ ON HEAVEN’S DOOR
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ TO RELOAD
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU WISH FOR THINGS
░ AND YOU GET THEM
░ AND IT’S BASICALLY
░ A PRETTY GOOD TIME
░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ THE MAIN VERB IS RESENT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOU RESENT EVERYTHING
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ AND YOU TELL NOBODY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOU’RE WRESTLING
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ BUT YOU’RE ALSO
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ HAVING FEELINGS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ AT THE SAME TIME
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU REACH FOR THE STARS
░ IGNORING THE MOON
░ WHICH IS OF LESSER VALUE
░ GAME OVER ON THE HEAT DEATH OF UNIVERSE
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU DO WHAT YOU LOVE
░ BUT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOU
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU THINK ABOUT
░ ░ ░ ALL THE THINGS
░ ░ ░ YOU WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
GAME IDEA ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
YOU ARE A LONELY MILLIONAIRE
░ ░ ░
LIVING ON A YACHT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ NIGHT FALLS ░ ░
░
GAME IDEA░
░YOU MEET A TRAVELLER
FROM AN ANTIQUE LAND
WHO TELLS YOU OF TWO TRUNKLESS LEGS
AND A SHATTERED VISAGE░
YOU RESOLVE TO STEAL THEM░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU DO YOUR BEST
░ ░ IT IS NOT ENOUGH
░ BUT YOU TRIED AND CAN USUALLY SLEEP AT NIGHT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░░ EVERYTHING IS OKAY
░ ░ ░ ░░ YOU CAN REST NOW
░ ░ ░░ YOU CAN REST
░ ░░
░░
░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ A CORNFIELD
░ ░ ░ IT IS JUST AFTER DAWN
░ ░ ░ ░ A THRESHER RUMBLES
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE THE CORN
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU WAIT
░ ░░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ YOU START OFF AS NOBODY SPECIAL
░░ AND END UP UNIMPORTANT
░░░ AND IN THE MIDDLE IT’S THE SAME,
░░░░ NOTHING MUCH CHANGES
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ THE BREADCRUMBS
░ ░ ARE TAKING YOU TO
░ ░ ░ A BAD PLACE
░ ░ ░ ░ THEY ARE SIMPLY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ TOO MUCH CARBS FOR YOU
░░░ ░░ ░ GAME IDEA
░░ ░░
░░ ░░ ░ YOU MAXIMISE
░░░ ░ THE MINIMUMS
░ ░ AND MINIMISE
░░░ ░░ THE MAXIMUMS
░░ UNTIL EVERYTHING
░ ░░░ IS JUST OKAY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ YOU CONTINUE
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ BUT THE GAME HAS
░ ░ GIVEN UP
░ ░ ON YOU
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ YOU’VE SPENT SO LONG
░ ░ GETTING READY
░ ░ FOR THIS MOMENT
░ ░ NOW YOU’RE NOT SURE
░ ░ IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO
░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST
░ WALKING AROUND
░ BUT EVERYBODY’S
░ DEAD
░ ░ ░ ░
GAME IDEA ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
AFTER THE GAME IS OVER ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
YOU RETURN TO YOUR BED ░ ░ ░
░ ░
FOR ONE LAST SLEEP ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░ DAY AT THE PARK
░░ WITH DIGITAL DAD
░ HE THROWS YOU THE BALL
░░ A MILLION TIMES
░ HE WON’T STOP
░░ YOU WILL NEVER GET HOME
GAME IDEA
░YOU START AS A GOOD PERSON
░PLAYING A VIDEOGAME
░BUT SOMEWHERE IN THERE
░YOU TURN BAD AND MUST ADMIT
░YOU REALLY ARE A BAD PERSON
░ ░░ ░ GAME IDEA░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░ YOU ARE A POET░
░░ BUT THE PARSER░
░░░ DOES NOT ACCEPT░
░ ANY OF YOUR INPUT░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU DESTROY THE STARS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ NOW THE STARS ARE GONE
░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
ADAM AND STEVE
YOUR NEW NEIGHBOURS
IN THE GARDEN OF EVAN
ARE EATING APPLE PIE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ IT’S A WALKING SIMULATOR
░ ░ BUT
░ ░ ░ YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE GOING ANYWHERE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░
░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░ IT’S ANGRY BIRDS
░░░░░░ BUT
░░░ BIRDS HAVEN’T BEEN
░░░░░░ INVENTED YET
░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░ YOU MADE YOUR
░░░░ HOUSE
░░░░ NOW
░░░░ LIVE IN IT
░░░░
░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOU MAKE YOUR BED
░ ░
░ ░ ░ THEN YOU LIE IN IT
░ ░
░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ AFTER YOU BREAK YOUR LEG
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ AND DIE OF DYSENTERY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ THINGS REALLY GET INTERESTING
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ INSIDE THE MOUNTAIN
░ ░ ░ ░ MORE MOUNTAIN
░ ░ ░ ░
░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░░ YOU’RE NOT THE INCREDIBLE HULK
░░░░ BUT NOBODY LIKES YOU
░░ WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY
░ NONETHELESS
░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░YOU WIN SOME
░ ░ ░ ░ ░AND THEN YOU LOSE EVERYTHING
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU ARE NEVER SATISFIED
░ ░ ░ BECAUSE YOU ARE
░ ACTUALLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU MAKE
░░░░ MISTAKES
░░░░░
░░░░░░ THEY RESONATE
░░░░░░░ INDEFINITELY
░░░░░░░░
░░░ ░░░ GAME IDEA
░░ ░░
░ ░ FLOATING IN A SEA OF MILK
░ ░ YOU SLEEP WELL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS
░░ ░░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU ARE FRAIL
░ THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU
░ ░ RETURN TO THE SEA
░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU ARE A BUILDING
░ ░ AND YOU JUST HAVE TO
░ PUT UP WITH
░ ░ THE CREEPY PEOPLE
░ ░ ░ INSIDE YOU.
░
░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░
░░
░░░ YOU’RE ALL ALONE
░░
░
░░ ░░ ░░░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░ ░░
░ ░░░ ░░ YOU HAD IT ALL
░░░ THEN YOU LOST IT
░ YOU GOT IT ALL BACK
░░░░ NOW YOU WISH
░░░ YOU COULD LOSE IT AGAIN
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ALL THE PRETTY HORSES
░ ░ ARE SO PRETTY
░ ░ ░ YOU STROKE THEIR MANES
░ ░ AND FEED THEM SUGAR
░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ IT’S SAGE SOLITAIRE
░ BUT
░ YOU ARE NOT A WISE PERSON
░ LIKE THE REST OF US
░ YOU ARE A STUPID PERSON
░ GAME IDEA
░ NOTHING YOU DO MATTERS
░ EVEN IF YOU GET EXUBERANT FEEDBACK
░ IT DOESN’T
░ NOT EVEN IF YOU HEAR ‘ODE TO JOY’
░ NOT EVEN THEN
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU’RE WEAK
░ ░ BUT IT’S OKAY
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU DON’T NEED
░ ░ ░ TO BE STRONG RIGHT NOW.
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU KEEP MAKING SANDWICHES
░ ░
░ ░ ░ WHY ARE YOU MAKING SO MANY SANDWICHES?
░ ░
░ ░ ░ THEY ARE REALLY PILING UP
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ ░ ░ YOU WORK SO HARD
░ ░ DAY AND NIGHT
░ TO SAVE YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY
░ ░ ░ BUT THEY SHUT IT DOWN ANYWAY
░ ░
░ NO MORE READING
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ IT’S A POST-APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND
░ ░ BUT EVERYONE’S HAPPY
░ AND NOTHING NEEDS TO CHANGE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS
░ ░ YOU JUST DON’T
░ ░ IT’S NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM
░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ THE CENTRE HOLDS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ THE FALCON’S FINE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ EVERYONE GOES HOME
░ ░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ THE HORROR
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░THE HORROR
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░ ░ YOU HAVE AMNESIA
░ AND NOBODY KNOWS YOU
░ ░ THERE ARE NO CLUES
░ YOU JUST CAN’T SHAKE IT
░ ░ YOU ARE INSTITUTIONALISED
░
░░░
░░
░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░ YOU NEED TO RELAX
░░░░░ BUT THERE IS NO RELAX BUTTON
░░░░░░
░░░░
░░
░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ THE HORSE DIES
░ AND YOU’RE CRYING
░ ░
░ ░ BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT WRONG
░ ░ ░ IN THIS WORLD OF OURS
░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA ░░░░░░░
░░
░░░ THE METERS SAY
░░░░ YOU’RE TOTALLY HEALTHY
░░░ BUT YOU DON’T FEEL SO GOOD
░░
░░░░░░ ░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░ ░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ TWO UNHAPPY MEN
░░░░░░░░░░ ENTER
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ AND THEY HAVEN’T
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ COME OUT YET
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ YOU HAVE SQUANDERED
░ ░ YOUR RESOURCES
░ ░ AND YOU HAVE
░ ░ NO REGRETS
░GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU ARE PICKING FLOWERS
░ BUT THEY ARE ALL GUNS
░ AND YOUR SHOES ARE GUNS
░ AND YOU GUESS YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS HEADED
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU FINALLY FIND THE
░ ░ ░ ALIEN TECHNOLOGY
░ ░ ░ BUT IT’S BROKEN
░ ░ ░ JUST LIKE YOUR HEART
░░░ ░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░ ░░░
░░░ ░░░ YOU WISH YOU HADN’T
░░░ ░░░ SAID THAT
░░░ ░░░
░░░ ░░░ YOU REALLY DO
░░░ ░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ AT FIRST YOU JUST
░ CRY INTO YOUR PILLOW
░░ BUT YOU GET BETTER AT IT
░ UNTIL YOU CAN
░░ DROWN THE WORLD
░░░ IN YOUR TEARS
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░ ░ YOU STAND IN THE POST-APOCALYPTIC
░ WASTELAND
░ ░░ ░ THE WORLD AS YOU KNEW IT
░ ░ IS OVER
░ AND YOU ARE SO RELIEVED
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE
░ ░ A CUP OF TEA
░ FOR YOUR LOVED ONE
░ ░ BUT OH BUTTERFINGERS
░ YOU KEEP SHOOTING THEM IN THE FACE
░ ░ ░ ░
░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU TRY TO FIGHT IT
░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ BUT YOU DON’T
░
░ ░ KNOW WHAT IT IS
░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ IT’S NOT A GAME
░░
░░░ BUT HERE YOU ARE
░░░░
░░░ PLAYING IT
░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU’RE AN ALIEN
░░░░ AND YOU DON’T LIKE IT
░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU REVEL
░░░░ IN ALL THE
░░░░░ PRIVATE TWITCHING
░░░░░░ OF YOUR ANATOMY
░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░ YOU RUN YOUR FINGERS THROUGH HIS HAIR
░░░░░░░░ HE DOESN’T CARE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ IT’S OVER
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
GAME IDEA
░
░░ AT THE TOP OF THE HILL
░░░ YOU CLIMBED
░░░░
░░░░░ A DOWNWARD SLOPE
░░░░░░ IN ALL DIRECTIONS
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU DESCEND
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU ARE IN LOVE
░ ░ YOU ARE TRYING TO KISS
░ ░ ░
░ ░ BUT THE VR HEADSETS
░ ░ ░ ARE IN THE WAY
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ ALL YOU WANTED WAS
░░░ IMPOSSIBLY MUSCULAR
░░░░ THIGHS
░
░░ BUT NOW YOU’RE SCARED
░░░ OF YOUR OWN
░░░░ AMBITION
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOU ARE MADE OF WATER
░ ░ BUT NOT IN A COOL SUPER-POWERS WAY
░
░ ░ LATER
░ SOMEONE LITERALLY FLUSHES YOU DOWN THE TOILET
░GAME IDEA
░░
░░░EVERYONE IS IN YOUR WAY
░░░░SO YOU JUST CHANGE YOUR WAY
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░ YOU ARE A PAIR
░░░ OF RAGGED CLAWS
░░░░ SCUTTLING ACROSS THE FLOORS
░░░░░ OF SILENT SEAS
░░░░
░░░
░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░ YOU ARE A GAPING MAW
░░░░░░ YOU CANNOT HELP BUT CONSUME EVERYTHING
░░░░░░░░░░░░ AND EVERYONE
░░ APOLOGISING AS YOU GO
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░ YOU SPEND YOUR NIGHTS
░░ STANDING IN BEDROOMS
░░░ BEING DISAPPOINTED IN PEOPLE
░░░░ WHILE THEY SLEEP
░░ YOU’RE SO TIRED
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░
YOU GO AROUND
░░ TELLING PEOPLE TO
░ ░ ░ BE REASONABLE
░░░ BUT THEY WON’T
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE WALKING
░░░░ THROUGH A WASTELAND
░░░
░░ AT THE END YOU FIND OUT
░ IT IS YOUR HEART
░░
░ YOU NOD CURTLY
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU DO A BUNCH OF STUFF
░░░░ AND AT THE END
░░░░░ YOU ARE DISGUSTED BY YOURSELF
░░░░░░ ON MANY LEVELS
░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU’RE THE KING
░░░░░░░ OF THE CASTLE
░░░░░░░░ BUT THERE’S
░░░░░░░░░ NOBODY HERE
░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ YOU’RE A CHAMP
░ ░ ░
░ EVERYONE IS HAPPY YOU’RE AROUND
░ ░ ░
░ YOU SOLVE ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS AND WE LOVE YOU
░ ░ ░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░░ PRESS X RAPIDLY TO
░░░ BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU’VE TRIED SO HARD
░ AND COME SO FAR
░ BUT IN THE END
░ THE PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░ YOU ARE IMPORTANT
░░░░░
░░░░░░ AND THAT’S WHAT’S IMPORTANT
░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN FLY
░░░░ BUT IT’S NOT ENOUGH
░░░ THERE IS NO FLY BUTTON
░░ THERE IS NO IMPLEMENTATION
░ OF FLYING
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ WELL THIS IS
░ ░ ░ ANOTHER FINE MESS
░ ░ YOU’VE GOT YOURSELF INTO
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ LAUGH TRACK
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU’RE ALL DRESSED UP
░░░░ WITH NOWHERE TO GO
░░
░░░ YOUR ARMOUR IS +2
░░░░ BUT NOBODY LOVES YOU
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ TIME PASSES
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ TIMES ARE TOUGH
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU UNEQUIP YOUR HEART
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ AND KEEP MOVING
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░ YOU’RE A SNAKE
░░░░░
░░░░░░ AND YOU HATE SNAKES
░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ YOU GO ON A VOYAGE
░░░ OF SELF-DISCOVERY
░
░░░ AND YOU DON’T LIKE
░░░░░ WHAT YOU FIND
░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░░ YOU CRY MORE OFTEN
░░░ THESE DAYS
░░░░
░░░░░ AND SOMETIMES FIND YOURSELF
░░░░░░ IN STRANGE PLACES
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ IT’S FUN
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░ YOU’RE A SPACESHIP
░░░░░░░░░ I MEAN
░░░░░░░░░░░░ AREN’T WE ALL?
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU ARE THE FIRST
░░░░ ASTRONAUT
░░░░░ WHO NEVER GOES
░░░░░░ TO SPACE
░░░░░░░ USE MOUSE TO
░░░░░░░░ LOOK LONGINGLY UP
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE A HOMUNCULUS
░░░░░░ PLAYING THE VIDEOGAME
░░░░░░░ OF YOUR LIFE AS A HOMUNCULUS
░░░░░░░░ ETC. ETC.
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ THE TRASHCANS
░░░░░░░ ARE BRIMMING
░░░░░░ WITH COLLECTIBLE
░░░░░ EMOTIONS
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ FOR EVERYTHING
░░░░ THERE IS A SEASON
░░ ONE MORE TURN
░ ONE MORE TURN
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ MAKE THE MOST
░░░░ OF YOUR TIME
░░░░░
░░░░░░ THERE ARE
░░░░░░░ NO CHECKPOINTS
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░ PRESS X TO SAY I’M SORRY
░
░░░░ PRESS Y TO SAY I’M SO SORRY
░
░░░ PRESS R1 TO SAY I DIDN’T KNOW
░
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░░ YOU’LL EAT IT
░
░░░░░░░░░░░ AND YOU’LL LIKE IT
░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░ YOU HAVE NO RELEVANCE
░░░ YOU FIGHT FOR RELEVANCE
░░ YOU ARE NOT SURE IF YOU ARE RELEVANT ENOUGH YET
░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ YOU WANT TO GO HOME
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ BUT YOU DELETED IT
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░ JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE OUT
░░░░░ THEY PULL YOU BACK IN
░░░
░░░░░░ AND IT FEELS GREAT
░░░░░░░░ TO STILL BELONG
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU HAVE
░ LIKE
░ A HUNDRED DEGREES OF FREEDOM
░ AND YOU HAVE NEVER FELT
░ SO FREE
░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░ YOU ARE THE CENTRE
░ OF THE UNIVERSE
░░ AROUND WHICH
░ EVERYTHING TURNS
░░
░ YOU DARE NOT MOVE
░░ YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH
░░
░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ BAD DOG
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU ARE A BAD DOG
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ BAD
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU COUNT TO TEN
░░░░░░ SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO
░░░░░░░ SHOOT OFF YOUR GUN
░░░░░░░░ IN ANGER
░░░░░░░░░ OR AT ALL
░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU HAVE TO
░░░░░░░░ FEEL A FEELING
░░░░░░░░░░ BEFORE THE TIMER
░░░░░░░░░░░░ RUNS OUT
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU KEEP
░░ APOLOGISING
░
░░
░░░ YOU HAVE
░░ A LOT
░ TO BE SORRY
░░ ABOUT
░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░YOU ARE AN OFFICE SHELF
░░ AND YOU
░░░░░░░░░░░░ JUST CAN’T GET
░░ THAT STAPLER
░░░░░░░░░░░░ OFF YOUR BACK
░░
░
░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU ARE AN
░░░░░░░░░ UNPOPULAR HASHTAG
░░░░░░░ AND THERE’S NOTHING
░░░░░ YOU CAN DO
░░░ ABOUT IT
░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░ YOU’RE A RARELY READ
░░ POEM
░
░░ JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT
░░░ IN THIS CRAZY TOWN
░░░░
░░░░░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ YOU HAVE TO FIGHT
░ ░ ░ ░ JUST TO BE HEARD
░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░░ YOU ARE A STEPPING STONE
░ ░ PEOPLE STEP ON YOU TO GET AHEAD
░░ BUT YOU NEVER GET AHEAD
░ ░ YOU ARE HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU GET LOST
░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ AND THAT’S THE LAST
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ WE HEAR OF YOU
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ IT’S A PHOTO-REALISTIC
░░ VERSION OF REAL LIFE
░ IF YOUR REAL LIFE
░░ LOOKS AND FEELS
░░░ EXACTLY LIKE PONG
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST
░░ AN ORDINARY PIECE OF BREAD
░
░░ AND THEY WERE RIGHT
░░░ AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT
░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░ YOU WIN
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░░░░ IT’S COLOSSAL CAVE
░░░░░ BUT THE CAVE IS TINY
░░ AND IT IS A METAPHOR
░░░░░░░ FOR YOUR HEART
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU ARE
░░░░ AN EMOTION
░░░░░ NO ONE FEELS
░░░░░░
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ THE ABYSS
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░░ TO BE
░░░░
░░░
░░ STARED INTO
░
░░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░ IT’S RAINING
░░ HEAVILY
░
░░ AND YOU
░░░ ARE A WINDOW PANE
░░░░ IN TEARS
░░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░░░
░
░░░ YOU ARE A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD
░
░░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░ YOU HURT EVERYONE YOU LOVE
░
░░░░░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░
░░ YOU’RE A MOUNTAIN
░ BUT YOU WISH YOU WERE
░░ A MOLEHILL
░░░
░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░
░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░ IT’S HEAVY RAIN
░
░░░░ BUT THE RAIN IS BIRDS
░
░░░░░░░░ AND THE BIRDS AREN’T HEAVY
░
░░ THEY’RE ANGRY
░
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ YOU WANT TO HELP
░░░░░░░░
░░ BUT EACH TOUCH
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ RUINS EVERYTHING A LITTLE MORE
░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU SAY THINGS LIKE
░░░░ “SOMEBODY’S GOTTA DO IT”
░░░░░ IN A LOW GRAVELLY VOICE
░░░░░░ BUT YOU ARE SO AFRAID
░░░░░░░
░░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░ GOSH YOU’RE DOING
░░ SO GREAT
░░░ YOUR DAD AND I
░░░░ ARE JUST SO
░░░ PROUD OF YOU
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░ THAT FEELING
░░░ WHEN
░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU’RE ALONE
░░░░░░ ON THE UNCARING OCEAN
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ IT WAS ALL A DREAM
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU’RE JUST A BUTTERFLY
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU ACKNOWLEDGE
░░░░ EACH HIGHLY PROBLEMATIC
░░░░░ ACTION
░░░░
░░░ AND CONTINUE
░░ ON AND ON
░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU ARE ALREADY
░░░░░░ DOWN THE WELL
░░░░░
░░░░ PRESS X TO
░░░ PRAY TO LASSIE
░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU ARE A ROOM-SIZED COMPUTER
░░ BUT BY NOW
░░░ THERE ARE CITY-SIZED COMPUTERS
░░ AND YOU ARE FEELING
░░░ SMALL
░░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ PRESS X RAPIDLY
░ ░ TO FIX EVERYTHING
░ ░ ░ THAT’S WRONG
░ ░ WITH THIS WORLD
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ DON’T STOP
░ ░ PRESSING
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU’RE LIKE A WEREWOLF
░░░░ EXCEPT INSTEAD OF TURNING INTO A WOLF
░░░░░ YOU’RE JUST FILLED WITH SADNESS AND REGRET
░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU’RE A GAME
░░░░ BUT
░░░░░ YOU’RE NO FUN
░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU’RE AN ERASER
░░░░░░░░░░ EACH TIME YOU HELP OUT
░░░░░ YOU DIE A LITTLE
░░░
░░ ░░░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░░░ ░ ░░░
░░ ░░░
░░░ ░░ PRESS X TO
░░ ░░░ TAKE THE BLAME
░░░ ░░ YOU SO RICHLY
░░ ░░░ DESERVE
░░░ ░░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU ARE A GUN
░ ░ ░ ░ STRUGGLING NOT TO FIRE
░ ░ EACH TIME YOUR TRIGGER’S PULLED
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE
░ ░ THE X BUTTON
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU HAVE NOTHING
░ ░ ░ TO PRESS
░ ░
░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░ YOU ARE
░ AN OWL
░░ YOU COULD SAY IT’S A
░ FIRST-PERSON HOOTER
░░ BUT YOU’RE NOT LAUGHING
░ YOU’RE HERE TO KILL EVERYONE
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU ARE TEACHING A CLASS
░
░ ░ PRESS X REPEATEDLY TO TEACH
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU ARE AN ELEVATOR
░ ░ ░ JUDGING
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ELEVATOR PITCHES
░ ░ ░
░ ░ BUT NO ONE
░ ░ ░ ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU TRY TO SAVE
░ ░ ░ THE WORLD
░ ░
░ ░ ░ BUT YOU DON’T HAVE
░ ░ THAT KIND OF DISK SPACE
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE A GUN
░░░░░░░
░░░░░ AND YOU’RE MAKING
░░░░░░░ BREAKFAST
░░░░░ FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE
░░░
░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ THERE’S A FLY
░ ░ ░ IN YOUR SOUP
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ SO YOU NOCLIP
░ ░ ░ OUT OF THE RESTAURANT
░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ PRESS AND HOLD Y
░ ░ ░ TO BE A BETTER PERSON
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ YOU MAKE A LOT
░ ░ OF IMPORTANT DECISIONS
░ ░ ░ LEADING INEVITABLY
░ ░ ░ ░ TO A GREAT CUTSCENE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ YOU ARE THE ONE
░░ TRAILING THE ARMY
░░░ AND
░░░░ CLOSING THE EYES
░░░░░ OF THE DEAD
░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE THE WITNESS
░ ░ USE THE RIGHT ANALOG STICK TO
░ ░ ░ ░ AVOID THE BURNING EYES OF THE DEFENDANT
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOU ALWAYS BEGIN
░ ░ AT THE QUICKSAVE
░ ░ ░ JUST AFTER YOU DID
░ ░ ░ ░ EVERYTHING WRONG
░ ░ ░
░ ░
░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE WELL-LOVED
░ ░ ░ YOUR LOVED-METER IS AT
░ ░ SEVENTY-EIGHT PERCENT
░ SO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOUR VIDEOGAME FATHER
░ ░ IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, SON
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ HE HAS TEARS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ IN HIS EYES
░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░ TO RAGE, RAGE
░░░░░ AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT
░░░
░
░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU ARE
░░░░ THE LIFEBOAT
░░░ BRINGING THEM
░░ TO SAFETY
░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░░ YOU ARE A DOG’S TAIL
░░ AND YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH
░░ OF BEING WAGGED
░
░ BUT THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
░ SO OH WELL
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ IT’S A RACE
░░ AGAINST TIME
░ TO BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
░░
░░░ NO HOLDS BARRED
░░ SELF-ACTUALISATION
░░░ IN AN ARENA
░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░ YOU ARE THE HAMMER
░░░░░░░░
░ AND THE NAIL
░░░░
░ IT IS VERY CONFUSING
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ USE THE D-PAD TO
░░░░ MEET YOUR EYES IN THE BATHROOM MIRROR
░░░░░
░░░░░░PRESS X TO
░░░░░░░ SWEAR YOU’RE GOING TO CHANGE
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░ IT’S A TOUGH JOB
░░░░░░ BUT SOMEONE’S GOTTA DO IT
░░░░ PRESS X REPEATEDLY TO DO IT
░░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░ ALTERNATE X AND Y
░ TO EXPRESS
░░░ BOTH YOUR SADNESS
░░░░░ AND REGRET
░░░ WHEN READY PRESS B
░ FOR A SINGLE TEAR
░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░ YOU COULD
░░░░░░
░░ BE DOING
░░░░░░
░░ A LOT BETTER
░░░░░░
░░ BUT THERE IS
░░░░░░
░░ NO BUTTON FOR THAT
░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ IT’S YOUR LIFE
░░ BUT IT HAS A
░░░ CAREFULLY CRAFTED
░░░░ NARRATIVE ARC
░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░ REALISTIC BLINKING SIMULATOR
░░░░
░ DON’T BLINK TOO MUCH
░░░░░
░ DON’T BLINK TOO LITTLE
░░░░
░ BLINK A REALISTIC AMOUNT
░░░░░░░░░░
░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░ TWO MEN ENTER
░░
░░░░░░░░ TWO MEN LEAVE
░░
░░░ THEY WERE GOING TO A MOVIE AT THE MALL
░░
░░░░░░░
░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░YOU ARE IN A DARK ROOM
░░ THE FIRE IS DEAD
░ THE ROOM IS FREEZING
░░░ BUT IT’S FINE
░░░░ BECAUSE YOU ARE ALSO DEAD
░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░ POST-APOCALYPSE
░ THE WORLD
░░░░░░ IS STARTING OVER
░ AND IT HAS DECIDED TO DO IT
░░░░░░░░░░░ WITHOUT YOU
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░░ HOLD YOUR HORSES
░░░░ BECAUSE YOUR HORSES
░░ ARE TRYING TO GET AWAY
░░░░ BECAUSE THEY DON’T LIKE YOU
░░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░ YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH
░░░░░░ TO BE THE PROTAGONIST
░░░░░░░ SO YOU GET A JOB
░░░░░░░░ MAKING THE CLOUDS MOVE
░ GAME IDEA
░ PUSH THE BUTTON
░ TO WIN
░ PUSH IT HARD
░ HARDER
░ THAT’S NOT HARD ENOUGH
░ THIS ISN’T WORKING
░░░░
░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░░ YOU ARE THE BUSHEL
░
░░░ THEY HIDE THEIR LIGHTS UNDER
░
░░░░░ YOU ARE PART
░
░░░░░░░░ OF THE PROBLEM
░
░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X TO
░░░░ TALK ABOUT HOW YOU’RE FEELING
░░ ABOUT IT ALL
░ LATELY
░░
░░░ HOLD Y TO REALLY
░░░░ MEAN IT
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ NO NO YOU’RE DOING GREAT
░░░░ IT’S FINE
░░░░ JUST KEEP GOING
░░░░ NO NO IGNORE THAT
░░░ IT’S NOTHING
░░ YOU’RE EVERYTHING
░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░ USE THE D-PAD
░
░░ TO FIND YOUR INNER ZEN GARDEN
░
░░░ RAKE IT WITH THE ANALOG STICK
░
░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X TO MEDITATE
░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ YOU HAVE REACHED
░░░░░░░░░ YOUR DESTINATION
░░░░░░░░ AND MAY NOW BEGIN
░░░░░░░ TO OPENLY WEEP
░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░ HERE YOU ARE
░░
░░░░░░ STILL THROWING YOURSELF
░░
░░░░░░░ AGAINST THE FORCES OF ENTROPY
░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░ TO FIGHT THE INEVITABLE
░░░░░DISINTEGRATION
░░░░ DECAY
░░░ AND DISAPPEARANCE
░░ OF YOUR HUMAN BODY
░░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ IT HAS BEEN SO LONG
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░ SINCE YOU KNEW WHAT TO DO
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░ PRESS X TO DASH YOUR HOPES
░░░ AND DREAMS
░░ TO THE GROUND
░░░ YOUR OWN HOPES AND DREAMS
░░ DASH THEM
░ DO IT NOW
░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE PLAYING
░░░░░░ AT BEING OKAY
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░ GET IT
░░░
░░░░ TOGETHER
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ PHYSICS
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU HAVE DONE
░░░░ ENOUGH
░░░░░
░░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░░ TO TAKE A WELL-EARNED
░░░░ REST
░░░
░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ AN OPEN WORLD
░ ░ ░ WHERE YOU COULD BUILD
░ ░ ANYTHING
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ BUT YOU DON’T
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ DO YOU
░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU ARE THE SWEAT
░░░░ OF A MAN’S BROW
░░░░░
░░░░░░ SO NERVOUS AND UNCERTAIN
░░░░░░░ ABOUT WHO YOU BELONG TO
░░░░░░░░
░░░ ░░ ░
░░░░ ░░░ ░░ ░ GAME IDEA
░░░ ░░ ░ IT’S PROBABLY TIME
░░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░ ░░ ░ TO GIVE UP
░░░░ ░░░ ░░ ░ THOSE DREAMS OF YOURS
░░ ░
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU HAVE HYPOTHERMIA
░░░░░░
░░░░░ IT’S A METAPHOR
░░░░
░░░ FOR YOUR APATHY
░░
░ ABOUT VIDEOGAMES
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░ YOU ARE HAPPY
░░░░
░░░ YOU TURN YOUR SMILING FACE
░░░░
░░░ TO THE SUN
░░░░
░░░ AND CLOSE YOUR EYES
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU ARE A WORK OF ART
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░ TO BE MISUNDERSTOOD
░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░ YOU ARE MADE
░
░░░ ENTIRELY
░
░░░░░░░ OUT OF REGRET
░
░░░░░░░░░░ IT IS HARD
░
░░░░░ TO GET ANYTHING DONE
░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░
░░░░ YOU DO
░░░░░ ALL THE
░░░░░░ HEAVY LIFTING
░░░░░
░░░░ I’LL BE
░░░ OVER HERE
░░
░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░ FOLLOW FRIDAY
░░░░░░░░░ SEE WHERE IT GOES
░░░░░░░░░░░ DON’T GET CAUGHT
░░░░░░░░░░░░ REPORT BACK
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ PRESS A TO FOLD YOUR ARMS
░░░░ HOLD B TO KEEP YOUR FACE IMPASSIVE
░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X TO WITHHOLD YOUR LOVE
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ YOU WIN
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ BUT YOU’RE NOT SURE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ IF YOU WON
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░
░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░ YOU ARE HOPELESS
░░░░░░
░░░ SO YOU
░░░░░░
░░░ GRIND HOPE
░░░░░░
░░░ UNTIL YOU ARE HOPEFUL
░░░░░░
░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░ WHAT ARE YOU EVEN
░ DOING
░ WITH YOUR LIFE?
░ PRESS X TO ACTIVATE THE MICROPHONE
░ EXPLAIN YOURSELF
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X TO SAY
░░░░ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
░░░░░ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
░░░░░░ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░
░░░░░░░ TO TRY TO STAND YOURSELF
░
░░░░░░░ NO
░
░░░░░░░ THAT’S NOT FAST ENOUGH
░
░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU ARE
░ A SMALL ENTERPRISE
░
░ DOING FETCH QUESTS
░ TO REACH MEDIUM
░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE AN UNREAL CITY
░
░ ░ ░ USE THE ANALOG THUMB-STICKS
░
░ ░ TO INSPIRE POETS AND NOVELISTS
░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░ YOU HAVE NOT BEEN
░░░░░░░░░░ IMPLEMENTED YET
░░░░░░░░░░░░░ THERE IS NO SKY
░░░░ THE BIRDS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SING
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░░ IT’S TENNIS
░░░░░
░░ BUT THERE IS NO BALL
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ SINCE NO ONE SEEMS TO WANT IT ANYWAY
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU ARE FANTASTIC
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ AND IT JUST FEELS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ SO
░ ░ ░ ░ DAMN
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GOOD
░ ░ ░
░░░░░░░░░ ░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░░ USE THE D-PAD
░░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░░ TO TELL HIM HOW
░░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░░ YOU REALLY FEEL
░░░░░░░░░ ░░░
░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ AND YOU MUST PAY FOR IT
░ ░ ░
░ ░ WITH IN-APP PURCHASES
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░░░░ RAPIDLY MOVE THE JOYSTICK
░
░░░░░░ TO SHAKE OFF
░
░░░░ YOUR ENNUI
░
░░
░
░░░░ FASTER
░
░░░░░░ FASTER
░
░░░░ FASTER
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ IT’S A PHYSICS GAME
░
░ ░ BUT THE PHYSICS
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ IS A METAPHOR
░ ░ ░
░ ░ FOR HOW YOU DON’T LIKE YOURSELF
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░ YOU ARE FALLING
░ AT GREAT SPEED
░░░░░░ TOWARD THE EARTH
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ AND THAT’S IT
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU START WITH
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ VERY LOW ABILITIES
░ ░ ░ IN EVERY CATEGORY
░ ░ ░
░ ░ AND YOU
░ ░ ░ JUST MAKE DO
░ ░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░ YOU ARE WAITING FOR GODOT
░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ HERE HE COMES
░
░░░░ PRESS X TO SCREAM
░
░░░░░░░░
░░ ░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░ ░░
░░ ░░ ░░ YOU DON’T KNOW
░░ ░░
░░ WHAT YOU’RE DOING
░░ ░░
░░ ░░ ░░ NONE OF THE BUTTONS
░░ ░░
░░ MEAN ANYTHING
░░ ░░
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░ YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE YOURSELF
░
░░ IN THE MIRROR
░
░░ AND YOU’RE DOING THINGS
░
░░ YOU’D NEVER DO
░
░░ WHO ARE YOU?
░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE ALONE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ WITH YOUR THOUGHTS
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ IT IS A
░ ░ ░ ░ SURVIVAL-HORROR GAME
░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU HAVE
░░░░ MURDERED EVERYONE
░░░░░ FOR MILES AROUND
░░░░░░ AND YET
░░░░░░░ SOMEHOW
░░░░░░░░YOU STILL FEEL DISSATISFIED
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░ PRESS X TO PRESS X
░░░░░ PRESS Y TO PRESS Y
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ WALK AWAY TO WALK AWAY
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ NEVER COME BACK
░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ THOSE STRAWS ARE GOING
░ ░ ░ EVERYWHERE
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░ ░ ░ TO GRASP AT THE STRAWS
░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░ YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SORRY ABOUT
░░░░░░░░
░ SO YOU SCOUR THE WASTELAND
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ FOR SOMETHING TERRIBLE TO DO
░░░░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU ARE SUCH AN
░ ░ ░ ░ INTERESTING PERSON
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ALL THE NPCS
░ ░ ░ ░ ARE FASCINATED BY YOU
░ ░
░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT EVERYTHING
░ ░
░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ AND YOU KNOW IT
░ ░
░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO
░░ AND YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT
░░░
░░░░ YOU JUST DON’T KNOW WHY
░░░
░░ BUT FUCK IT
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░ THAT FEELING
░░░░░ WHEN
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOUR GUN
░░░░░░░░ IS YOUR DEFINING FEATURE
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU
░░░░
░░░ PRESS COMBINATIONS OF BUTTONS
░░ TO EXPRESS YOURSELF
░
░░ EVEN THOUGH THAT DOESN’T WORK
░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ THE EVILDOER SMITES YOU ON THE RIGHT CHEEK
░
░ FOR 20 DAMAGE
░
░ USE THE RIGHT ANALOG STICK
░
░ TO TURN TO HIM THE OTHER
░
░░░░
░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░ YOU ARE THE GOD OF GOUT
░
░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░ YOU’RE REALLY PSYCHED ABOUT GOUT
░
░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU ARE A BAD PERSON
░░░░░░░░
░░░░ TRYING TO
░░ REMAP YOUR CONTROLLER
░░░░
░░░░░░ TO ACT LIKE A GOOD PERSON
░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░ EVERYTHING IS QUANTIFIED
░
░░░░░░░ AND SO YOU FINALLY KNOW
░
░░ WITHOUT A DOUBT
░
░░░░░ YOU ARE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░░ YOU ARE A ROOM AND
░░░░░░░░░ YOU UNDERSTAND
░░░░░░ CHINESE
░░░
░ BUT NOBODY
░░░ EVER
░░░░░░ TALKS
░░░░░░░░░ TO YOU
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ ░ STAY THESE COURIERS
░ ░ ░ FROM THEIR APPOINTED ROUNDS
░
░ PRESS X FOR SNOW
░ PRESS Y FOR RAIN
░ PRESS B FOR GLOOM OF NIGHT
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ IT’S SOMEONE ELSE’S
░░░░░░░ POWER FANTASY
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░░ AND YOU’RE GETTING
░░░ PUSHED DOWN
░ IN THE DIRT
░
░░
░░░░
░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░ YOU HAVE A PERFECT BODY
░
░░ YOU DESTROY THE WORLD
░░░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU EAT A GOOD BREAKFAST
░░░░
░░
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░ IT’S HALF-LIFE
░░
░░░░░░ EXCEPT
░░ THE HEADCRABS ARE YOUR INADEQUACIES
░░
░░░░ AND
░░░░ EVERYTHING IS MADE OF HEADCRABS
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░░░ YOU DID EVERYTHING RIGHT
░░
░░░░░░░ YOU LISTENED
░░░░░░░ TO ENOUGH CLASSICAL MUSIC
░░
░░░░░░░ BUT YOU’RE DYING
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░ IT’S
░░░░░░░░░░ MINECRAFT
░░░ BUT
░░░░░░░░░░ THE WORLD
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ IS
░░ YOUR PERSONAL BRAND
░░░░
░GAME IDEA
░░░
░ YOU’RE A GLOCK
░ AND HE’S AN AK-47
░░
░ AND YOU’RE SHOOTING BULLETS
░ INTO EACH OTHER’S MOUTHS
░░
░ IT’S CALLED MAKING LOVE
░░░ ░░░ ░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░ ░░░
░░░ YOU ARE LITERALLY
░░░ ░░░ ░░░ ANOTHER BRICK
░░░ ░░░ IN THE WALL
░░░
░░░ ░░░ IT’S PRETTY COSY
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░ ░ KILLING MR. BOND WOULD BE
░ TOO EASY
░
░ SO YOU SPEND WEEKS
░ ░ HANGING OUT WITH HIM
░ ░ ░ AND YOU BECOME GREAT FRIENDS
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ NO MATTER
░ HOW FAST YOU WAGGLE
░ THE ANALOG STICK
░ HOW HARD
░ YOU PRESS X
░
░ YOU CAN’T CONVEY HOW MUCH
░ YOU LOVED HIM
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOU’RE IN A TOP-SECRET
░ ░ GOVERNMENT COMPOUND
░ ░ ░ LICKING THE WALLS
░ ░ ░ ░ BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY ACTION AVAILABLE
░░░
░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU LET THEM KILL YOU
░░░░ AGAIN AND AGAIN
░░░░░ TO FEEL THE TINGLING THRILL
░░░░░░ OF YOUR RESPAWN
░░░░░
░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ VR EXCEPT IT STANDS FOR
░░░░░
░ VERY RELAXING OR
░░ VACATION ROBOT OR
░░░ VISCOUS ROOFTOP
░ OR LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ YOU FALL IN LOVE
░░ WITH THE RUMBLE PAK
░░░
░░ IT BUZZES SWEET NOTHINGS
░
░░ YOU HOLD IT TO YOUR CHEEK
░░░ AND HUM
░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU ARE A KILLER APP
░░░░
░░░ BUT NOW THAT EVERYONE IS
░░ DEAD
░
░░ THERE’S NO ONE LEFT
░░░ TO KILL
░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░ IT’S A FIGHTING GAME
░
░░░░░░░ WHERE YOU JUST
░
░░░░░░░░░ TRY TO LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR
░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░
░░░░
░ YOU ARE A CUBE
░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░
░ IN A SPHERE’S WORLD
░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ TO REFUSE TO COME TO TERMS WITH
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOUR OWN MORTALITY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░ YOU ARE THE FOLEY ARTIST
░░
░░░ FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S
░░░░
░░░░░ WONDERFUL LIFE
░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU ARE
░░ THE MAN
░░░ IN THE MIRROR
░
░ APING
░░ THE OTHER ONE’S
░░░ RIDICULOUS GESTURES
░░░░ WHENEVER HE CARES TO LOOK
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU WALK AROUND
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ IT’S BORING
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ PRESS X TO SKIP
░░░░░░ THE CUTSCENE
░░░░░ OF YOU STOPPING
░░░░ TO SMELL THE FLOWERS
░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU CRY
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU ACTIVATE
░░░░ STEALTH MODE
░░░ TO HIDE
░░░░ YOUR TEARS
░░░
░░ BUT YOU CAN STILL FEEL THEM
░ RUNNING DOWN YOUR CHEEKS
░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░
░ YOU CAN FEEL
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ THE CONTROLLER INPUTS
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ OF A HIGHER POWER
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ THERE’S A CHECKPOINT
░ AFTER YOU HURT HIS FEELINGS
░
░ YOU CAN NEVER TAKE IT BACK
░
░ HIS EYES WILL ALWAYS BE FULL OF TEARS
░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░ YOU HAVE NO AGENCY
░
░░░░ SO YOU LUXURIATE
░ IN YOUR IGNORED BUTTON PRESSES
░░
░ YOU CANNOT BE
░░░░░░ BLAMED FOR ANYTHING
░░░░░
░░GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░THERE HAS
░░░░░NEVER BEEN
░░░░A BETTER TIME
░░░TO GIVE UP
░░AND COLLAPSE
░░░ IN TEARS
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░YOU DO NOT HAVE
░░░░░WHAT IT TAKES
░░PRESS X TO HANG YOUR HEAD
░░░░░AND RESIGN YOURSELF
░░░░░░░░░TO THIS SAD FACT
░ ░ ░
░GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░YOU ADMIT TO YOURSELF
░ ░ ░ ░
░THAT YOUR LIFE CONSISTS OF LITTLE MORE THAN
░ ░ ░ ░
░A SERIES OF COLLISIONS
░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ CHOSEN
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░ TO CHILL AT HOME AND JUST RELAX
░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU COUNT
░ ░ ░ TO TEN
░ ░ AND REALISE
░ YOU’RE NOT MAD ENOUGH
░ ░ TO KILL EVERYONE
░ ░ ░ ANYMORE
░ ░ ░ ░
░░░
░░░░GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░THE EPIC QUEST WAITS
░░░░░░░FOR YOU TO SET IT IN MOTION
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░AND YOU
░░░░░░KEEP IT WAITING
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░GAME IDEA
░
░░ YOU HAVE TIME-TRAVELLED TOO MUCH
░
░░░░░░░░░ AND NOW CONSTANTLY
░
░░░░░░ GET IN YOUR OWN WAY
░
░░░░░░░░░
░░
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE SEEN
░░
░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU ARE KNOWN
░░
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU ARE LOVED
░░
░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOUR SUPERPOWER
░░░░
░░░░░ IS DECIDING
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ ONCE AND FOR ALL
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ WHAT IS AND IS NOT IRONIC
░░░░░░ ░
░░░░░ ░GAME IDEA
░░░░ ░
░░░ ░YOU ARE IN A VALLEY
░░ ░OF MONUMENTS
░░░ ░TO YOU
░░░░ ░YOU WALK AMONG THEM
░░░░░ ░SMILING
░░░░░░ ░
░ ░░░ GAME IDEA
░░ ░░░
░░░ ░░░ IT’S A SNEAKING
░░ ░░░ SUSPICION MISSION
░ ░░░
░░ ░░░ YOU’RE STARTING TO THINK
░ ░░░ YOU’RE A TERRIBLE PERSON
░ ░░░░░░
░ ░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░░░░░ YOU WANT TO
░ ░░░░░ MAKE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
░ ░░░░ BUT YOU’RE
░ ░░░ IN THE WRONG GAME
░ ░░
░ ░░░░
░ ░░░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░
░ ░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░ ░░
░ ░░░ TO RECONNECT
░ ░░░░
░ ░░░░░ WITH YOUR PHYSICAL SELF
░ ░░░░░░
░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░ ░░░░░░░░░
░░░ ░░░░░░░░░ YOU RUN IN CIRCLES
░░░░ ░░░░ AND
░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU’RE DAMN GOOD AT IT
░░ ░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░
░ ░░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░░░░ ░
░ ░░░ ░ IT’S A CHOOSE-YOUR-OWN ADVENTURE
░ ░░ ░
░ ░░░░░░ ░ BUT YOUR ADVENTURE
░ ░░░░ ░ ISN’T LISTED
░ ░░░ ░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU ARE A
░░░░░░ GOOD DOG
░░░░░░░░░
░░ IN A BAD DOG WORLD
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░YOU ARE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░A DYSTOPIAN WASTELAND
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU SAVE THE WORLD
░░░░░░
░░░░░ BUT GRATITUDE HASN’T BEEN
░░░░ IMPLEMENTED
░░░
░░░░ SO IT WASN’T
░░░░░ WORTH IT
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░░░░░░ YOU DIE
░░
░░░░░ AND GO
░░
░░░░░░░░░░ TO HEAVEN
░░
░░░░░ AND YOU
░░
░░░░░░░░░░ REFUSE
░░
░░░░░ TO RESPAWN
░░
░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░ YOU MOW DOWN YOUR ENEMIES
░░░ WITH BEAUTIFUL
░░ EFFICIENCY
░░░
░░░░ PRESS X TO ASK
░░░ “IS THIS LIVING?”
░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ALL OF YOUR KISSES
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ARE KISSES GOODBYE
░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ HE LOVES YOU
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ BUT YOU LOVE
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ KILLING HIM
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU ARE PROMETHEUS’S
░ EAGLE-TORMENTOR
░ ░
░ ░ ░ FOREVER TORMENTED
░ ░ ░ ░ BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE LIVER
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░ NO MATTER
░░ WHICH BUTTONS
░░░ YOU PRESS
░
░░ OR HOW YOU MOVE
░░░ THE THUMBSTICKS
░
░░ YOU CAN’T SEEM
░░░ TO FALL IN LOVE
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░ YOU ARE SO
░ SECURE IN YOURSELF
░░ YOU DO NOT NEED
░░░TO FIGHT ANYONE
░░░░
░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░ TO JUST BE COOL
░░░░
░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░░░░
░░ TO BE OKAY
░░░░░░░░
░░ WITH ALL THE GUN VIOLENCE
░░░░░░░░░
░░ IN THE GAME
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░ THE WORLD IS AWFUL
░░░░░░
░░░ AND THERE ARE NO QUESTS
░░░░░░
░░ TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO
░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░░ IT’S VR
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ BUT THE
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ ENNUI
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ IS TOTALLY REAL
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░ YOU ARE A FLUFFY WHITE CLOUD
░░░░░░
░░░░ FILLED WITH A MURDEROUS RAGE
░░░
░░░░░ YOU CANNOT EXPRESS
░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU ARE REALLY
░░░░ REALLY IMPORTANT
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ DON’T WORRY
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU WANT TO START
░░ SAVING THE WORLD
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ BUT YOU CAN’T WORK OUT
░░ WHICH OUTFIT TO WEAR
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU ARE OZYMANDIAS
░░░░░░░░ KING OF KINGS
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ AND YOU HAVE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ A LOT OF WORKS TO DO
░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░ TO LOVE HER ENOUGH
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ THAT SHE’LL STAY
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ TO REMAIN INDIFFERENT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU SLEEP
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ THROUGH THE WHOLE THING
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░ YOU USE
░░░░░░░░░░
░ WORDS AND
░░░░░░░░░
░ GOODWILL
░░░░░░░░░░
░ TO RESOLVE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ YOUR CONFLICTS
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ ░░ HERE YOU ARE
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ ░░ AGAIN
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ ░░ MURDERING EVERYONE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU SIT SILENT
░░░░░░░░ IN YOUR DRIVERLESS CAR
░░░░░░░░░░ HITTING EVERY CHECKPOINT
░░░░░░░░░░░░ FLAWLESSLY
░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░ POETRY
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ BUT
░░░░░░░░
░ THE GOOD KIND
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE DOING
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ PERFECTLY ADEQUATELY
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ AND THAT IS ALL
░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░░░ YOU OPEN YOUR HEART
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ BUT ALL YOU GET
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ IS A HEART ATTACK
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU’RE NOT THERE
░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU’RE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND
░░░░░░
░░ WHERE DID YOU GO?
░░░░
░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU WISH
░░░░░░░ YOU HADN’T DONE
░░░░░░ WHAT YOU DID
░░░░░ BUT HERE WE ARE
░░░░ IN A NEW WORLD
░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ THE ALIENS HAVE ARRIVED
░░░░░░ AND YOU ARE RUSHED OFF YOUR FEET
░░░░░░░░░░░ GETTING THEM ICECREAM
░░ GAME IDEA
░ YOU DIE
░ AND THE GAME IS OVER
░░░
░ AND YOU LAUGH
░ AND WALK HOME
░░░
░ BUT NO ONE CAN SEE YOU
░ BECAUSE YOU’RE A GHOST NOW
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░ YOU’RE ON AN EPIC QUEST
░░░░ TO SAVE THE WORLD
░░░░░
░░░░░░ BUT YOU DIE ON THE WAY
░░░░░░░ AND NOBODY NOTICES
░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░ YOU ARE A DRIVERLESS CAR
░░░
░░ MAKING
░░░
░░░░ BAD DECISIONS
░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░░ YOU CAN FLY
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ BUT THERE’S
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ NOWHERE TO GO
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ RAPIDLY PRESS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ X
░ ░ ░ TO TRY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ TO UNDERSTAND
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ IT ALL
░ ░ ░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░
░░░ YOU SAVED THE DAY
░░░░
░░░ BUT NOW NOBODY KNOWS
░░░░
░░░ WHAT TO DO
░░░░
░░░ WITHOUT AN IMPENDING APOCALYPSE
░░░░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU ARE A DUNGEON
░
░ ░ ░ ░ KEEPING
░ ░
░ HORRIBLE SECRETS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░ YOU ARE A TREE
░░░░░░ FALLING IN A FOREST
░░░░░░░░░ BUT NO ONE IS LISTENING TO YOU
░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE AN ISLAND
░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ SLOWLY
░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ GIVING IN
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU ARE THE KING
░ ░ ░ ░ OF THE CASTLE
░ ░
░ ░ JUST HANGING OUT
░ ░ ░ READING A BOOK
░ ░ ░ ░ SLIGHTLY BORED
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU WERE NOT THERE
░░░
░░ WHEN THEY NEEDED A HERO
░░░░░░░░░
░░ BUT THAT WAS THE GRITTY NARRATIVE
░░░
░░ SO YOU WIN
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ PRESS BUTTONS
░░░░░░░
░░░░░ TO DO THINGS
░░░
░░░░░ THAT ARE
░░░░░░░
░░░░░ DEPRESSINGLY HUMAN
░░░
░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░ IT’S BRAID
░░░░░░
░░ BUT INSTEAD OF REWINDING TIME
░░░░░░
░░░ YOU REWIND RETURNED VHS TAPES
░░░░
░░░░░░ AT A VIDEO STORE
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU’RE A COWBOY
░ ░ ░
░ ░ AND YOU DONE WRONG
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ SO YOU NOBLY RELOAD
░ ░ ░
░ ░ AND TRY TO DO RIGHT
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU ARE THE MOON
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ SO BEAUTIFUL
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ BRIGHT
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ AND BORED
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░ THIS
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU ARE GETTING OLD
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOUR HEALTH BAR MAXES OUT
░░ AT “ACHES AND PAINS”
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ STOP
░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ THEN GO
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ DO
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ WHAT YOU’RE TOLD
░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░ YOU ARE
░░░░░░░░
░░ THE SECOND LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS
░░░░░░
░░ AND
░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU DEPRESS EVERYONE
░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░░░░
░
░ YOU KEEP ON
░
░ HAVING OPINIONS
░
░░░░░░░░░
░
░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░
░ TO INFLICT THEM ON EVERYONE ELSE
░
░░░░░░░░░
░░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░ ░░
░░ ░░ ░░ YOU ARE A MAGNET
░ ░░ ░░ ░░ EMBEDDED
░░ ░░ ░░ IN A TRANSHUMANIST’S FINGER
░ ░░ ░░
░░ ░░ DOING THEIR BIDDING
░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOU KEEP BECOMING
░ LESS AND LESS REAL
░ ░ ░ ░
░ BUT IT’S OKAY
░ ░ ░ ░
░ (IT’S NOT ACTUALLY OKAY)
░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ YOU ARE A HAIKU
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ DOING YOUR BEST TO REMAIN
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ IMPENETRABLE
░░░░░
░░░
░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░ IT’S LATE
░░░░░
░░░░░░ AND YOU SHOULD GO HOME
░░░░░░
░░░░ BUT YOU CAN’T FACE IT
░░░░
░░░
░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU ARE LITERALLY
░░░░░░░░░░ A BRIDGE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░ OVER TROUBLED WATER
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU ARE A GAME CONTROLLER
░░░░
░░░░░░░ REPEATEDLY HAVE YOUR X PRESSED
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ TO TRY TO FEEL SOMETHING
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU FEEL GUILTY
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ BECAUSE YOU ARE GUILTY
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░
GAME IDEA
░░░░░
YOU WAIT
░░░░░
VIOLENTLY
░░░░░
FOR SOMETHING
░░░░░
TO HAPPEN
░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░ YOU ARE A
░░░░ YET-TO-BE-GENERATED
░░░ PROCEDURAL QUADRUPED
░░░░░
░░░░ IN SOMEONE ELSE’S GAME
░░░░░░
░░░░░ YOU WAIT
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ JUMPING
░░
░ BUT IT’S ONLY
░ JUMPING
░ FOR JOY
░░
░ YOU DON’T GET TO
░░ GO ANYWHERE
░░░ OR SEE ANYTHING
░░░░ OR KILL ANYONE
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░ YOU CAN’T SEEM
░░░
░░░░ TO GET PAST
░░░░░
░░░░░░ THE TUTORIAL LEVEL
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ ABOUT BEING A LOVING PERSON
░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░
░ ░ ░░ PRESS AND HOLD X
░ ░░ TO CHARGE UP
░ ░ ░░ YOUR CONFIDENCE
░ ░ ░ ░░
░ ░░ UNTIL YOU FEEL READY
░ ░ ░░ TO LET GO
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ EVERYTHING DEPENDS
░ ░ ON YOU
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ BUT YOU
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ DON’T KNOW THE RULES
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░░ ░░ ░░ ░░ ░░ ░░
░░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░░ ░░ ░░ ░░ ░░
░░ ░░ ░░ YOU ARE A SHELF
░░ ░░ ░░ ░░ ░░
░░ ░░ PEOPLE PUT THINGS ON YOU
░░ ░░ ░░ ░░ ░░ ░░
░░
░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░ YOU’RE SORRY
░░░░░
░░░░░░ SO SORRY
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ AND YOU’LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU’RE
░░░░░░░░ DROWNING
░░░░
░░░░░░░░ AND
░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ KIND OF LIKE IT
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░ IT’S ANGRY BIRDS
░░░░ BUT THEY’RE NOT ANGRY
░░░░ SO THEY’RE JUST DESTROYING EVERYTHING
░░░░ FOR NO REASON
░
░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ YOU START OUT DEAD INSIDE
░ ░ ░ ░
░ AND PRETTY SOON
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOU’RE DEAD ON THE OUTSIDE TOO
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU DO YOUR BEST
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ BUT THE SAVE FILE OF YOUR LIFE
░░░
░░░░ HAS BEEN CORRUPTED
░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU CAN’T GET
░░ NO RESPECT
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU’RE JUST
░░ A BACKGROUND NPC
░░░░
░░░░░░ MUTTERING
░░ YOUR MEAGRE LINES
░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░░░░░ YOU’RE ANXIOUS
░░░
░░░░░ YOU CAN’T BREATHE
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ YOU DIDN’T UPGRADE YOUR LUNGS
░░░░░░░
░░░░░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU GO
░ ░ ░ ON A HERO’S JOURNEY
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ BUT YOU’RE A COWARD
░ ░ AND THE WHOLE THING
░ ░ ░ ░ IS VERY AWKWARD
░
░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░ ░░░
░ ░░ ░░░ ░░░░ YOU HAVE TELESCOPIC FINGERS
░ ░░ ░░░
░ ░░ AND
░ ░░ ░░░ THEY
░ ░░ ░░░ ░░░░ DISGUST YOU
░ ░░ ░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ YOU ARE CONFRONTED
░░ BY THE SPIRITS
░░░ OF THOSE YOU KILLED
░░░░
░░░ IT IS VERY MOVING
░░ AND YOU WEEP AS YOU VAPE THEM
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░ ░ ░ YOU’RE MEANT TO BE OUT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ COLLECTING SOULS
░ ░ ░
░ BUT YOU’RE JUST IN TRACKPANTS
░ ░ ░ WATCHING NETFLIX
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ THERE IS NOTHING BUT YOU
░░░░░
░░░░ AND YOUR AK-47
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ AND MOUNTAINS OF FRESHLY CUT FLOWERS
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░ ░ YOU INVENT A BEAUTIFUL WEAPON
░░░
░ ░ THEN EVERYONE USES IT
░ ░ AND YOU SPEND A LOT OF TIME
░ ░ SAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
░░
░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░ YOU ARE TRAPPED
░
░░░░░░░░░ INSIDE A VIDEOGAME
░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU MADE FOR YOUR MOTHER
░
░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ YOU CLIMB FLIGHTS OF STAIRS
░ ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES
░ PRETENDING YOU’RE A MOUNTAINEER
░ BUT YOU’RE SO AWARE YOU AREN’T ONE
░░ ░░ ░░ ░░
░░
░░ ░░ ░░ ░░
░░
░░ ░░
░░
░░ ░░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░ ░░ YOU’RE IN LOVE
░░
░░ ░░ ░░
░░
░░ ░░ ░░ ░░
░░
░░ ░░
░ GAME IDEA
░♝░░♙░░
░♞♙░♖♗░░░♝░♝♛♟♘
░♗♝♔░░░░░♞♖♗♜░♔♛♖
░░♜░♙♝♘♙░♖♝♙░░♘♘♘♟♙♖
♗♙♔░░♔♛♙♖░░♝♙░░░♝♜♗♙░░
░░♙♜░░░░♖♞♟♟♙♖
♘♞░♙♘♞░░♔♟░░♝░░
♜░♟♛░░♙♗░░♗
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░
░░░ USE THE RIGHT ANALOG STICK
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ TO FIND YOURSELF
░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░
░ IT’S POKÉMON GO
░░
░░░ BUT GEOFENCED TO YOUR COUCH
░░░░
░░░ AND THE POKEMON
░░ ARE JUST BAD TV SHOWS YOU LOVE WATCHING
░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU ARE A WASHING MACHINE
░░░░░░
░░░ SHUDDERING
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ AS YOU ROIL FILTHY CLOTHES
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░ THE HERO IS NEVER QUITE
░░░░ READY TO GO
░░░░░
░░░░ HE’S ALWAYS
░░ STRETCHING HIS CALVES
░░░░ AND TIDYING HIS APARTMENT
░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░ YOU ARE AN ENVIRONMENT
░
░░░░░░░ TRYING TO TELL A STORY
░
░░░░░░░░░░ WHILE THEY TRAMPLE YOU
░
░░░ LOOKING FOR LOOT
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ MOVE THE ANALOG STICKS
░ ░ IN CIRCLES
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ TO MAKE VENN DIAGRAMS
░ ░ ░ OF EXQUISITE SARCASM
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU ARE A GUY
░░░░░
░░░░░░ SITTING IN HIS TOOLSHED
░░░░░
░░░░░░ BLINKING BACK TEARS
░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░ IT’S ANGRY BIRDS
░░░░░░░
░░░░░ BUT
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU’RE SO LONELY
░░░░░
░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ IT IS CHESS
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ BUT YOU ARE
░ ░ ░ SO STRONG AND WONDERFUL
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ I GIVE IN TO YOU COMPLETELY
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU GET ALL THE
░░░░░░░░ POINTS
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ EXCEPT
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ THE POINT
░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE AN AVATAR
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ WHEN THE PLAYER PRESSES X
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU JUMP
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ PRESS X
░ ░ ░ ░ WITH DEEP AND SUBTLE FEELING
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ TO SHOW HIM HOW YOU FEEL
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME
░ ░ ON PAUSE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO SCARED
░ ░ TO PLAY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU HAVE A CROWBAR
░░░░
░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ TO PRY OPEN YOUR MOUTH
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ AND SAY SOMETHING
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU WIN
░ ░ ░ ░ BUT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU’RE NOT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ A WINNER
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU ARE
░ ░ ░ A SKYBOX
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ IMPASSIVELY CONTAINING
░ ░ ░ ░ A WHOLE WORLD
░ ░ ░ AND ITS TRAGEDIES
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ THAT FEELING WHEN
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU HAVE A FEELING
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░ ░░
░░ ░ RAPIDLY
░ ░ AND VIOLENTLY
░░ PRESS X
░░ ░
░ ░░ ░ SO YOUR CONTROLLER
░░ ░░ FALLS APART
░ ░░
░░ ░ INSTEAD OF YOU
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOU WORKED VERY HARD
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ON YOUR PERSONALITY
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE WORKED
░ ░
░ ON YOUR PECS
░░ ░
░ ░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░ ░
░ ░ DITHER YOUR WAY
░░░ ░ THROUGH IMPORTANT DECISIONS
░ ░░░░░
░░░ ░░░░░ IN A HIGHLY REALISTIC WORLD
░ ░░░░░░ ░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU DANCE SO BEAUTIFULLY
░░░ IN THE CUT-SCENES
░░░
░░ BUT NOW
░░░ THE BEST YOU CAN MANAGE
░░ IS TO CIRCLE-STRAFE
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ YOU ARE A MOUNTAIN
░░
░░░ VERY TALL
░░░ BUT AWFUL
░░ AT BASKETBALL
░
░░ AND YOU WISH YOU WERE
░ SMALLER AND MORE RELATABLE
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ THE APOCALYPSE SMILES
░░░░ AS IT SIDLES UP
░░░░░░ BESIDE YOU
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU’RE REALLY GOOD
░ ░ ░ AT SIGHING
░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ THE WORLD NEEDS YOU
░ ░ ░
░░░░░
░░░░
░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU WORK ALL YOUR LIFE
░░░░░
░░░░ NEVER COMPLAIN
░░░
░░ AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GET?
░░░
░░░░
░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU ENGAGE STEALTH MODE
░░░░
░░░░░ AND MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD
░░░░ LIKE A SHADOW
░░░
░░ RETYING PEOPLE’S UNTIED SHOELACES
░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ YOU BREATHE
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU BREATHE
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU STOP BREATHING
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ I MEAN SERIOUSLY
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░ YOU HAVE A
░░░ LEGITIMATE GRIEVANCE
░░ WITH THE WORLD
░░░
░░░ BUT YOU CHOOSE
░░░░ TO STAY CALM
░░░░░ AND STAY HOME
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░ IT’S HOTLINE MIAMI
░░░
░░░░ EXCEPT
░░░
░░░░ YOU HAND-MAKE BENTO FOR EVERYONE
░░░
░░░░ INSTEAD OF MURDERING THEM
░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░░░░░ IT’S JENGA
░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ BUT
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ YOU SEE DEAD PEOPLE
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU ARE A DEVIL
░░░░░░░░░
░░ LIVING IN THE DETAILS
░░░░░░░░
░░ OF A EULA
░░░░░░░
░░ FOREVER ALONE
░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░ THE SIMULATION IS SO DETAILED
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU MIGHT AS WELL QUIT
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ AND LIVE YOUR OWN STUPID LIFE
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU ARE
░░░░░░░░░░░ A CHOIR OF ANGELS
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ IT’S NICE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ IT’S BLOODBORNE
░░░░
░░░░░ BUT INSTEAD OF EVERYTHING IN BLOODBORNE
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU’RE A LIBRARIAN AT A LOCAL SCHOOL
░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ YOU GIVE UP IMMEDIATELY
░░░░░░░░░░░░ AND RETIRE TO BED
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░ YOU JUST KIND OF
░░░░░░░░
░░ LIE THERE
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░
░ ░
GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
YOU’RE THE BEST
░ ░ ░ ░
AT WHAT YOU DO
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
AND WHAT YOU DO
░ ░ ░ ░
IS SKIP ROPE
░ ░ ░
░ ░
GAME IDEA
░ ░
YOU ARE
░ ░
URBANE AND WITTY
░ ░
AND GLIDE FROM SOIREE TO SOIREE
░ ░
PRESSING X TO QUIP
░ ░
PRESSING Y TO SMIRK
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU TRY
░ ░ ░ REAL HARD
░ ░ TO THROW A JAVELIN
░ REAL FAR
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ BUT YOU’RE JUST NOT CUT OUT FOR IT
░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░ YOU KNOW TOO MUCH
░░░░░
░░░░ THEY ARE HUNTING YOU DOWN
░░░░░
░░░░ TO GO ON QUIZ SHOWS
░░░░░
░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOU ARE MADE OF GUNS
░ GUNS FOR EYES
░ GUNS FOR HANDS
░ A GUN IN YOUR PANTS
░ IT’S EXHILARATING
░ AND EXHAUSTING
░ AND SAD
░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU BUILD
░░░░░░░░░ LOVING RELATIONSHIPS
░░░░░░░░░░░ AND
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ A REWARDING CAREER
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ AT THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN
░░░░░░░ THE GURU OFFERS YOU
░░░░░░░░░ THE ULTIMATE
░░░░░░░░░░░ IN-APP PURCHASE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU DRAGGED YOUR ASS THROUGH LIFE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ AND NOW YOU’RE
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ DRAGGING YOUR ASS THROUGH THE AFTERLIFE
░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU’RE THE ONE
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ MAKING STRANGE SOUNDS
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ IN OLD HOUSES
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU DON’T SUCCEED
░ ░ ░ SO YOU TRY AGAIN
░ ░
░ BUT YOU DON’T SUCCEED
░ ░ AGAIN
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ SO FUCK IT
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ IT’S ALMOST AS IF
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ KILLING THE INDICATED PEOPLE
░ ░ ░
░ HASN’T MADE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ TRY
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ TO LOOK LIKE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU
░ ░ SWALLOW
░ ░ ░ ░ OTHER PEOPLE’S
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ PRIDE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░ YOU FALL
░░░
░░ OFF A CLIFF
░
░░░ AND YOU SMILE
░░
░ AT THE ROCKS
░░
░░░░
░░ AND THE WELCOMING
░░░
░░
░
░░░░░░░░░░░░ SEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ THINGS AREN’T
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ LOOKING GREAT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ YOU WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU REALLY WANT TO
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU DEFINITELY WANT TO
░ ░
░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░ USE THE LEFT ANALOG STICK
░░░░░░░░
░░ TO NAVIGATE A SINGLE TEAR
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ DOWN YOUR CHEEK
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░░ EVERYTHING
░░░░░░░░
░░ IS GOING WELL
░░░░░░░
░░ YOU ARE
░░░░░░
░░ HAPPY
░░░░░
░░ HA HA
░░░░
░░
░░░░░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░ ░ ░
░ YOU SMILE
░░░░░ ░ ░ ░
░ AND SAY
░░░░░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ GOODNIGHT
░░░░░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░
░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░ YOU CAN RUN AT INCREDIBLE SPEEDS
░░░░░
░░░░ BUT ONLY
░░░░░░
░░░░░ AWAY FROM YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░░░ IT’S NOT THAT YOU
░░░░░ HATE THE BAD GUYS
░░░░░░░
░░░ YOU JUST HATE
░░░░░ THEIR GARISH RED GLOW
░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU ARE A TREE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ AND THEY ARE GOING TO CHOP YOU DOWN
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ HAVE FUN
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ NOTHING MAKES SENSE
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ BECAUSE
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ NOTHING MAKES SENSE
░ ░
░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ YOU ARE IN A LIBRARY
░ ░ ░ ░
░ SURROUNDED BY STRATEGIC COVER POSITIONS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOU ARE READING A BOOK
░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░░ BE QUIET
░░░
░░░░░░░ AND LET SOMEONE ELSE
░░░░
░░░░░░░░ DO SOMETHING HEROIC
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ FOR ONCE
░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA ░░
░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░░ YOU’RE DEAD ░░░░░
░░░░ BUT FOR SOME REASON ░░░░
░░ YOU CAN’T SEE DEAD PEOPLE ░░
░░░░░░░ ░░░ ░░░░░
░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ALL
░░ JUST A GAME
░
░░ BUT IT’S NOT A GAME AT ALL!
░░░
░░░░
░░░
░░
░ BUT REALLY IT IS JUST A GAME
░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░ YOU ARE FULL OF RAGE
░░░░░ FOR SOME REASON
░░░░░░ BUT YOU HAVE A LIGHT SNACK
░░░░░░░ AND FEEL OK AGAIN
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░
░░░░
░░ LIFE WITHOUT ANKLES
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░ EVERYONE SMILES
░░░░░░ WHEN YOU’RE IN THEIR LINE OF SIGHT
░
░░░░ AND WHEN YOU INTERSECT THEIR HITBOX
░░░░░░ YOU GET A HUG
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU’RE A CHAIR
░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ BRACE YOURSELF
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ FOR SOME BUTTS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ THERE’S A MYSTERIOUS MOUNTAIN
░░
░░░ IN THE DISTANCE
░░░░
░░░░░ BUT IT’S YOUR TURN
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ TO DO THE DISHES TONIGHT
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░ YOU CAN’T HELP ANYONE
░░░
░░░░░ UNTIL YOU’VE HELPED YOURSELF
░░░░░░░
░░ TO A GUN FROM THIS ENORMOUS PILE OF GUNS
░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░░░░
░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░░░ TRY TO MAKE SENSE
░░░░░ OF YOUR LIFE
░░░░░░░
░░░ BEFORE
░░░░░ IT RUNS OUT
░░░░░░░
░░░
░░░░░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ JUST SIT THERE QUIETLY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ AND TRY NOT TO KILL ANYONE OKAY?
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ KEEP EVERYONE CONSTANTLY
░░░░░░ UP TO DATE
░░ WITH ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING
░░░░░░ YOU’RE DOING
░░░░░ AT EVERY MOMENT
░░░
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ YOU’RE FEELING
░░░ PLAYFUL
░░░░░
░░░ BUT NOBODY WILL
░░░░░ PLAY WITH YOU
░░░
░░░░░ BECAUSE YOU
░░░ ARE A GUN
░░░░░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ THE POST-APOCALYPTIC
░ ░ ░ LANDSCAPE
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ WAS YOUR FEELINGS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ALL ALONG
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ YOU WIN SOME
░░░░░░░
░░░░░ YOU RELOAD SOME
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░
░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░ TO JUST BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
░
░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU’RE THE BEST
░ ░ ░ ░ OF THE BEST
░ ░ OF THE BEST OF THE BEST
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ OF THE BEST OF THE BEST
░ ░ OF THE B
░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOU ARE A CHICKEN’S HEAD
░ ░ ░
░ LONELY IN THE GRASS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ NEAR THE CHOPPING BLOCK
░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOU’RE DOING
░░░░ FINE
░░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU HAVE NOTHING
░░░░░░░ TO PROVE
░░░░░░
░░░░░ AND THE WORLD
░░░░ DOESN’T NEED SAVING
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░ YOUR VAST ARMY STRETCHES OUT BEFORE YOU
░░░
░ AND YOU
░░░░
░ ARE GOING TO MAKE A CUP OF TEA FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM
░ GAME IDEA
░
░ USE THE RIGHT ANALOG STICK
░ ░ TO EXPRESS YOUR CONTRITION
░ ░ ░ ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE
░ ░ WITH THE LEFT ANALOG STICK
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ LIFE
░░░░
░░░ EXCEPT
░░
░ YOU WIN
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ ░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░ JUST NOT EVEN TRYING
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░ ░
░ TO CREATE SOME SENSE OF MEANING
░
░░░░
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░ YOU’RE THE GOOD GUY
░░░░
░░░░ BUT THERE AREN’T ANY BAD GUYS
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░ JUST
░
░░░░░░░░░░░ TELL HER
░
░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ IT’S SUPER MARIO BROS.
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ EXCEPT
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ YOU’RE AN ONLY CHILD
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░ YOU CRY
░░░░
░░░░░░ AND THEN
░░░░
░░░░░░ RESET TO THE CHECKPOINT
░░░░
░░░░░░ SO YOU CAN
░░░░
░░░░░░ CRY AGAIN
░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ EVERYTHING IS SO
░ ░
░ TIRESOME
░ ░
░ ░ ░ BUT APPARENTLY
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU HAVE TO KEEP PLAYING ANYWAY
░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU HAVE DONE WELL
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ WE ARE ALL
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE DONE
░ ░ ░
░ ░
░░░░░
░░░░
░░░
░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ PRESS X
░░░░
░░░░░ TO LAUGH
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ AT HIS JOKES
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ YOU NEVER
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ MAKE ME CRY
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ AGAIN
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU REACH THE END OF THE LINE
░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ ░ AND SIT DOWN TO WAIT
░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ FOR SOMEONE TO DRAW MORE LINE
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ YOUR HEAD CAVES IN
░░░░
░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ AS YOU FALL TO THE GROUND
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ THEN STOP
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░ THEY ALL TELL YOU
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ NOT TO GIVE UP
░░░░
░░░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░░░░░░░
░░ TO GIVE UP
░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ THE MAIN QUEST LINE
░ ░ ░ ░ IS TO HUNT DOWN AND KILL
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ USE THE D-PAD TO MOVE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ PRESS A FOR WINSOME SMILE
░ ░ ░
░ ░ PRESS B FOR HEARTBROKEN SIGH
░
░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░ YOU ARE THE STUBBLE
░░░░░
░ ON THE RUGGED WHITE MAN’S CHIN
░░░░░░
░ DOING YOUR PART
░░░░░
░ TO SAVE THE WORLD
░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ YOU’RE OKAY
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ BUT YOU COULD
░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░ BE BETTER
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ YOU COLLECT HEARTS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ BUT YOU’RE HEARTLESS
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░
░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░░░░
░░░░░░░ TO KEEP SMILING THROUGH IT ALL
░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ OR JUST DON’T BOTHER
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░ YOU’VE LOST EVERYTHING
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ YOU DO TERRIBLE THINGS
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ WITH LOVE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░░░ NO MORE
░░
░░░░░░░░░░ MR NICE GUY
░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░ SHOULDN’T YOU BE
░░░░ SAVING THE WORLD
░░░░░
░░░░░░ INSTEAD OF
░░░░░░░ DOING
░░░░░░░░ THAT INTERPRETIVE
░░░░░░░░░ DANCE?
░░░░
░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░
░░ YOU CAN
░░░░ GO BACK
░░░░░░ TO THE WAY
░░░░░░░░ THINGS WERE
░░░░░░░░░░ AFTER ALL
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ THE FEELINGS
░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOU ARE FEELING
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ AREN’T GOING TO
░ ░ ░ ░
░ WIN THIS WAR
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░░░░░░ IT’S BEJEWELED
░
░░░░░░ BUT YOU USE THE JEWELS
░
░░░░░ TO BEDAZZLE YOUR COSTUME
░
░░░░ FOR YOUR BURLESQUE ACT
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░░░ YOU’RE BRUSHING A CAT’S TEETH
░░░░░░░ BRUSHING A CAT’S TEETH
░░░ BRUSHING A CAT’S TEETH
░░░░░░░ WHEN WILL IT END?
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░ YOU’RE SWEATING IT OUT
░░
░░░░░ SAVING THE WORLD
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░ BECAUSE THE ROBOTS
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ DON’T WANT TO
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░
░ YOU’RE THE CHILD
░░░░░░░
░ FROM THE PROPHECY
░░░░░░░
░ WHO WILL SAVE
░░░░░░░
░ ENOUGH POCKET MONEY TO BUY A VIDEOGAME
░ GAME IDEA
░░
░░░░░ YOU’VE GOT THE BIG GUN
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ BUT
░░░░░ YOU’VE ONLY GOT
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ THE SMALL
░░░░░ BULLETS
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ GETTING OUT OF BED
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░ DESPITE EVERYTHING
░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU’RE
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ THE MOTEL ROOM
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ USED
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ THE ROBOTS ALL WANT YOU
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ TO TEACH THEM HOW TO CRY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ BECAUSE YOU’RE THE BEST THERE IS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ IT’S HEAVY RAIN
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ BUT
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ IT SHOULD CLEAR UP SOON
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU HAVE A GUN
░░░░░░░░ THAT HURTS
░░░░░░░░░ PEOPLE’S FEELINGS
░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ THIS TIME
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU WILL DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ WITH ROMANCE
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ YOU DO YOUR BEST
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ AND IT’S GOOD ENOUGH
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ FOR TENTH PLACE
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░
░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ IT’S PORTAL
░ ░ BUT YOU USE THE PORTALS
░ ░ ░ ░ TO GET OUT OF AWKWARD SOCIAL SITUATIONS
░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░░░░
░ YOU’RE READY
░░░
░░░░░░░░
░ TO TAKE ON THE WORLD
░░░
░░░░░░░░
░ BUT THE WORLD
░░░
░░░░░░░░
░ HASN’T LOADED YET
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░ THIS TIME IT’S PERSONAL
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░ BECAUSE YOU’RE IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS
░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ THERE’S BEEN A MURDER
░ ░ ░ YOU MURDERED HIM WITH YOUR BEAUTY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ HAHA
░ ░ ░ BUT SERIOUSLY HE’S DEAD
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ IT’S DARK SOULS
░ ░ BUT THE SOULS
░ ░ ░ ░ ARE WELL LIT
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
░ ░ ░ ░ BUT IT REALLY
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ISN’T ENOUGH
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░░░
░
░░░░░░
░
░░░░ JUST WAIT
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ YOU ARE A QUICKTIME EVENT
░ ░ ░ ░ BUT YOU WISH
░ ░ ░ YOU WERE A SIDE QUEST
░ ░ ░ ░ OR MAYBE A SKYBOX
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ AND FEEL
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ SOME 100 POINT FEELINGS
░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ IT’S CANDY CRUSH
░ BUT
░ ░ ░ THE CRUSH IS ON YOU
░
░ ░ ░ (YOU ARE SO CHARMING
░ AND I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU)
░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY
░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░ BUT IF WE’RE BEING HONEST
░░░░░░
░░░░ YOU HAVEN’T COME FAR ENOUGH
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ I NEED YOU TO MOVE THIS TABLE FOR ME
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ GAME IDEA
░
░
░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ YOU’RE HAPPY
░
░
░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ SO I GUESS THAT’S IT
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░
░ YOU LOSE
░░
░░░ AND IT FEELS SO GOOD
░░░░
░░░░░ YOU NEVER WANT TO WIN AGAIN
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░ EVERYBODY SMILES AT YOU
░░░░░░░░
░ IN THE SPACESHIP CORRIDORS
░░░░░░░░
░ BECAUSE YOU’RE A GOOD PERSON
░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ YOU’RE PART OF THE PROBLEM
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ AND YOU’RE GONNA GET SOLVED
░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░ ░░ GAME IDEA
░░ ░░
░░ ░░
░░ ░░
░░ ░░ RAPIDLY PRESS X
░░ ░░
░░ ░░
░░ ░░
░░ ░░ TO REDACT YOUR FEELINGS
░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ YOU’VE MADE YOUR BED
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ NOW EAT IT
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░ EAT IT RIGHT NOW
░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ YOU GO TO SLEEP
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP
░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ YOU FIND OUT
░░░░
░░░░░░░░░ THAT YOU’VE WON
░░░░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░░░░ THE STORM COMES
░░░
░░ AND THE STORM GOES
░░░
░░░░ AND YOU KEEP ON
░░░░░
░░░░░░ WITHOUT ANY EFFORT
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░
░░░░ IT’S NOT OKAY
░░
░░░░░░░
░░░░░
░░░ SO DON’T PRESS
░░░░
░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░ THE OKAY BUTTON
░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░ A MASSIVE OPEN WORLD
░
░ BUT EVERYONE YOU MEET
░
░ IS WEEPING UNCONTROLLABLY
░
░ TO SAVE ON NARRATIVE DESIGN AND VOICE ACTING
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░
░░░░░░░ YOU KEEP SMILING
░░░░░░░░░░ WHEN YOU SHOULDN’T
░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░ AND YOU’RE MAKING THE MONSTERS FEEL WEIRD
░
░ GAME IDEA
░ ░
░ THE ONLY OBJECTIVE MARKER
░ ░ ON YOUR MINIMAP
░ ░ ░ IS YOU
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ BECAUSE IT’S TIME
░ ░ TO WORK ON YOURSELF
░░░ GAME IDEA
░░░░ YOU WEAR LOOSE-FITTING CLOTHING
░░░ EACH DAY
░░ HOPING
░░░ THAT SOMEONE WILL SLIP A SECRET NOTE
░░ INTO YOUR POCKET
░░ GAME IDEA
░
░░ A MASSIVE OPEN WORLD
░░░
░░ WHERE YOU GO FROM TOWN TO TOWN
░
░░ APOLOGISING TO EVERYONE
░░░
░░░░ FOR WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░
░ I AM DRIP-FEEDING YOU INFORMATION WHICH
░░░░░░
░ WHEN ACTED ON
░░░░░░░
░ WILL LEAD TO THE GRADUAL END OF THE WORLD
░░░░░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES
░ ░
░ ░ ░ AND LISTEN TO THE RAIN
░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ YOUR SCORE ACCUMULATES EXPONENTIALLY
░ GAME IDEA
░░░
░░░░░ USE THE X BUTTON
░░░░░░░ TO BREATHE OUT
░░░░░░░░░ IN ONE LONG
░░░░░░░░░░ LAST EXHALATION
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ ░ GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ USE THE MOTION CONTROLLERS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ TO GRASP AT STRAWS
░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░░░░░
░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ DESPITE EVERYTHING
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ YOU STILL LOVE
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ SHOOTING YOUR GUN
░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░
░ YOUR SUPERPOWER
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ IS WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ LIVE THE LIFE YOU WISH YOU HAD
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
GAME IDEA
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
YOU’RE TRYING TO LOVE EVERYONE
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
BUT YOUR CHARACTER MODEL
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
DOESN’T HAVE A HEART
░ ░ ░ ░ ░
░ GAME IDEA
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ YOU HAVE BEEN CREATED
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ TO CONTEMPLATE
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░ THE ASHES
GAME ░░░░ IDEA
░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░ ░░░░ IT IS NOT
░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░
HOW YOU ░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░
░░░░ WANTED ░░░░
░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░
IT ░░░░ TO BE